:: Quipu ::

:: Thursday, October 31, 2002 ::

Speak Like a Pirate. We haven't had a language lesson in a while, so http://www.fortunecity.com/rivendell/gallows/954/fsuns/pirspeak.htm
:: Johnny 2:41 AM [+] ::
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Fuckin' Clowns. NY Press' Jim "Slackjaw" Knipfel hits the nail on the head with this book review. http://www.nypress.com/15/44/books/books.cfm
:: Johnny 2:11 AM [+] ::
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R.I.P. Jam Master Jay. Shot in the head. It's not like Run-DMC were gangstas either... http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20021031/ap_on_en_mu/rapper_killed
:: Johnny 1:03 AM [+] ::
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Pax Americana. http://www.whitehouse.gov/nsc/nss.html
:: Johnny 12:53 AM [+] ::
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What was the Devil's music before rock 'n' roll?
In the matter of jass, New Orleans is particularly interested, since it has been widely suggested that this particular form of musical vice had its birth in this city-that it came, in fact, from doubtful surroundings in our slums. We do not recognize the honor of parenthood, but with a story in circulation it behooves us to be last to accept the atrocity in polite society, and where it has crept in we should make it a point of civic honor to suppress it. Its musical value is nil, and its possibilities of harm are great. http://www.glass-artist.co.uk/music/history/jass1917.html
:: Johnny 12:46 AM [+] ::
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Speaking of Monkeys.. (see post below) The Verizon Wireless commercial shown during the World Series featuring the monkey with a cold was very clever.
:: Johnny 11:51 PM [+] ::
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Angels Baseball. There's gonna be a new Disney movie--mark my words--"Rally Monkey." The monkey will have magical powers, and the monkey will have a talking crypto-racist stereotype pet of some sort. Don't get me started on those retarded Thunderstix (tm). It was a good Series, though--i liked watching it.
:: Johnny 11:45 PM [+] ::
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Wellstone Assassination. "The neo-fascist elements within and around the Republican Party have already demonstrated their contempt for democracy, first in the protracted campaign of political destabilization against the Clinton administration, then with the theft of the 2000 presidential election. They are now preparing to slaughter tens of thousands of Iraqis in order to grab control of the second largest oil reserves in the world. To imagine that they would suffer moral qualms over a conveniently timed plane crash would be naïve in the extreme." http://www.wsws.org/articles/2002/oct2002/well-o29_prn.shtml

:: Johnny 5:16 PM [+] ::
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Who Said This? "But the true threats to stability and peace are these nations that are not very transparent, that hide behind the—that don't let people in to take a look and see what they're up to. They're very kind of authoritarian regimes. The true threat is whether or not one of these people decide, peak of anger, try to hold us hostage, ourselves; the Israelis, for example, to whom we'll defend, offer our defenses; the South Koreans."
:: Johnny 11:00 AM [+] ::
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Sniper Weirdness. If you find anything weirder than this, let me know, por favor. http://www.hoffman-info.com/wire.html

:: Johnny 12:47 AM [+] ::
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Poor Space Dog. "Soviet officials had said she died painlessly in orbit about a week after launch, but new information just released says she died from overheating and panic just a few hours after the mission started." http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/2367681.stm
:: Johnny 5:15 PM [+] ::
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Good One, Frank. "Rock and Roll smells phoney and false. It is sung, played and written for the most part by cretinous goons... and by means of its almost imbecilic reiteration and sly, lewd - in fact, plain dirty - lyrics, it manages to be the martial music of every sideburned delinquent on the face of the earth. It is the most brutal, ugly, desperate, vicious form of expression it has ever been my misfortune to hear" --Frank Sinatra, 1957
:: Johnny 12:34 PM [+] ::
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Life in the War Zone.
"TO: Employees at 55 Water Street
FROM: Internal Communications
SUBJECT: Police Presence in Front of the Building - "Operation Hercules"
Recently NYPD's Emergency Services has been present in front of the building. They are conducting "Operation Hercules," which consists of drills for the Emergency Services Team, as well as an increased presence that is part of its ongoing initiative to ensure public safety. There is no specific threat to 55 Water Street."
The heavily armed ESU guys were pulling over vans and SUVs last week....
:: Johnny 12:31 PM [+] ::
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The Senator Was Murdered. This is from May 25, 2001. It presages anthrax attacks too. http://www.voxnyc.com/archives/senator-assassination.html
:: Johnny 3:26 PM [+] ::
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Cracker Packs! Straight outta the fridge firecracker label artwork. Real cool! http://www.crackerpacks.com/
:: Johnny 3:25 PM [+] ::
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Fireworks! Create your own display here: http://www.maylin.net/Fireworks.html
:: Johnny 3:24 PM [+] ::
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Overheard Cellphone. "Maybe she's a smart Polack."
:: Johnny 11:56 AM [+] ::
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Sniper. "A sniper on the loose, a nation on edge. Count on CNN to bring you the whole story. Now, more than ever!" --Actual CNN promotion
:: Johnny 11:43 AM [+] ::
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Fire Festivals of Europe. Some Halloween history for you, from Frazer's "The Golden Bough" (a great book):
Not only among the Celts but throughout Europe, Hallowe’en, the night which marks the transition from autumn to winter, seems to have been of old the time of year when the souls of the departed were supposed to revisit their old homes in order to warm themselves by the fire and to comfort themselves with the good cheer provided for them in the kitchen or the parlour by their affectionate kinsfolk. It was, perhaps, a natural thought that the approach of winter should drive the poor shivering hungry ghosts from the bare fields and the leafless woodlands to the shelter of the cottage with its familiar fireside.

Villagers and farmers alike must have their fire. In the villages the boys went from house to house and begged a peat from each householder, usually with the words, “Ge’s a peat t’ burn the witches.” When they had collected enough peats, they piled them in a heap, together with straw, furze, and other combustible materials, and set the whole on fire. Then each of the youths, one after another, laid himself down on the ground as near to the fire as he could without being scorched, and thus lying allowed the smoke to roll over him. The others ran through the smoke and jumped over their prostrate comrade. When the heap was burned down, they scattered the ashes, vying with each other who should scatter them most.

:: Johnny 11:42 AM [+] ::
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Spam. Here's my fave spam of the day that got past the filter: Get Paid Driving Here s the FREE Car you Requested
:: Johnny 11:38 AM [+] ::
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Worthless Word of the Day. Yesterday's was "hesternal." Look it up. http://home.mn.rr.com/wwftd/
:: Johnny 11:37 AM [+] ::
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Guidos. http://www.njguido.com/
:: Johnny 11:34 AM [+] ::
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Chechnya. "Chechnya is a modern Muslim society (oxymoron there?--ed.) and Chechens have very strong respect for old people. Chechens are the best friends and are the worst enemies. The guest is a sacred person for the Chechen. Therefore, friendship is appreciated as highly as readiness to help those who are weak or needy." http://www.amina.com/
:: Johnny 11:33 AM [+] ::
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Life During Wartime. We get these warnings so if we witness this, we won't think it's the real thing and panic.
Please be advised that The Citi Group building located at 111 Wall Street will be conducting a mock evacuation tomorrow Friday,10/18/02 at 4:00 pm (weather permitting).
There will also be a mock evacuation conducted at 110 William Street at 4:45 pm, Friday, 10/18/02.
:: Johnny 4:43 PM [+] ::
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Local Cable Access. Butch added this: you gotta add something about the candy sanders show. that little no talent, betty boop, flapper-like, karaoke queen is downright scary. verne troyer in drag. didja ever see it? one saturday night tear yourself away from sabado gigante and check it out. I will now give you the link for El Sabado Gigante, the most popular TV show on the planet (true) , run by that excellent dapper dude Don Francisco. I'd like to see his clothing/haircut/manicure bill. It's a combi-nation singing, dancing, game-showing, talk-showing extravaganza. I'll never forget Don Francisco leading the in-studio audience along in a song dedicated to one of the show's sponsors, Captain Crunch. There's nothing like it. Non-stop entertainment, with lots of female flesh exposed. It's three hours long. And Espanol on your part is not really necessary for enjoyment.
:: Johnny 12:03 AM [+] ::
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Sniper! I did an anagram generator thing for "Dear Mr. Policeman." Some interesting results:
airport camel sidemen (Arab terrorists?)
America molted sniper
aced marmolite sniper
Acedia sniper trommel
acetol mermaid sniper
acre immolated sniper
acroedema milt sniper
acromial meted sniper
acted memorial sniper
actio maldemer sniper
admire Camelot sniper (a Lee Harvey Oswald fan?)
aim ectodermal sniper
ameli democrat sniper
amid latecomer sniper
ammo decaliter sniper
ammo derelicta sniper
atomic emerald sniper
dam meteorical sniper

:: Johnny 1:02 PM [+] ::
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Disaster Porn. At "Earth Changes TV" http://www.earthchangestv.com/
:: Johnny 12:59 PM [+] ::
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Does despair cause a-holeness, or...the other way 'round? http://www.fredericksburg.com/News/FLS/2002/102002/10142002/759479
:: Johnny 1:33 AM [+] ::
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Local Cable TV. I live on Staten Island, the forgotten borough of NYC. Backwards that we are, we do have a first-rate cable TV system. My favorite recurring shows on channels 34 and 35:
Number one, without a doubt, is "Industrial Televison.", which contains oddball movie clips, trailers from grade-z movies, retro-porn, and just plain weird shit. Another is "The Athiest Show" (that's not the real name, I dunno what it is), which has this well-dressed and articulate "gindaloon"-lookin' guy and a very attractive older blonde woman in GLASSES (if you're into porn, think "mature") talk about Christian fairy tales. Okay, then we have "Island Hop." This is where the word "gindaloon" really comes into play. Vito, who had a big hit back in the 1950s with his group The Elegants called "Little Star" (actually not a bad song, but does not come close to Frankie Lymon & the Teenagers), hosts this variety hour. Think doo-wop. Think doo-wop on a very low budget. Think washed-up none-too-good-lookin' and not-too-bright people singing doo-wop music, who, when they are finished singing, get to sit with Vito and talk about jack-shit. Fascinating televison, and I am not kidding either. Oh yeah, and when there is nothing to talk about or everyone is finished singing, obese Staten Islanders get up and dance to "oldies". Vito had a bit part in the gindaloon Mafia motion picture "Goodfellas." They shoulda whacked him for real. However, for real Staten Island gindaloon flavor, there is nothing like "Joey Squiggs." Joey, apparently, has some sort of SI monopoly on videotaping mostly gindaloon celebrations such as sweet 16 affairs, weddings, anniversary parties etc. As Mr. Constanza from "Seinfeld" might say, "It's a catered affair!" Gauranteed: The Macarena, the Electric Slide, The Chicken Dance, and, of course, YMCA, all done by gindaloon Toni Ann's and irrepressible guidos. My favorite is the YMCA dance, because although "normal" SI gindaloon housewives just maybe might have some small inkling as to where YMCA actually came from, it's no excuse for them to foist that gay, drug-taking disco culture on their impressionable and not-too--bright gindaloon children.
:: Johnny 1:10 AM [+] ::
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Chinese Propaganda Posters. To go along with the Chinese public health posters that were, uh, "posted" the other day. http://www.iisg.nl/~landsberger/ There are even anti-Falun Gong ones: http://www.iisg.nl/~landsberger/flg.html
:: Johnny 4:43 PM [+] ::
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Hillary Clinton is an "Illuminist Witch"...according to Cutting Edge Ministries. "Thus, Hillary and Bill and all these women wearing this pin are communicating to fellow occultists that the coming New World Order is very close to being achieved." http://www.cuttingedge.org/news/n1259.cfm
:: Johnny 4:29 PM [+] ::
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Museum of Jurassic Technology. "The Museum of Jurassic Technology in Los Angeles, California is an educational institution dedicated to the advancement of knowledge and the public appreciation of the Lower Jurassic." Here's a site I've been going to for years. There's a wonderful book about the museum too called "Mr. Wilson's Cabinet of Wonder." Bizarre or whacked out? You decide! http://www.mjt.org/
:: Johnny 3:28 PM [+] ::
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Lend a lobe, and dig this gig, daddy-o. Beatniks. At the American Museum of Beat Art. http://www.beatmuseum.org/
:: Johnny 3:24 PM [+] ::
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Bali Blast. This is terrible. Those bastards. Blowing up a disco is gonna do everybody a lot of good. Bali is one of my armchair-traveling favorites and has been for years. (How many times I have said, one day....) I have a few books about the place, and just last week talked to someone who has been there. And, the week before that, it was one of the Indonesian islands featured on "Globe Trekker." What will this do to the tourism there? And not only there, but any "exotic" locale on the globe?
:: Johnny 3:22 PM [+] ::
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Japan Culture Club. Have a virtual sushi party. http://www.asahi-jc.com/
:: Johnny 5:24 PM [+] ::
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Chinese Public Health Posters. A must-see and read!! http://clendening.kumc.edu/dc/cp/index.html
:: Johnny 5:20 PM [+] ::
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Japanese Medical Art. Nice. http://clendening.kumc.edu/dc/jm/
:: Johnny 5:19 PM [+] ::
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Phony Ticker-Tape Parade. See the entry from the other day regarding this Olympic crap. I was just reminded about a Yankee parade from a few years ago when all the paper on Broadway caught fire after the festivities. What a spectacle!
:: Johnny 12:25 AM [+] ::
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Sandra Bullock's Stand-In. She was out there in the plaza today, the phony Sandra, an ersatz America's Sweetheart. Dressed in the same beige dress and draped in the same hair Sandra herself sported last Friday during filming, she ran across the plaza. A couple dozen times. The camera at her back. Poor underpaid stand-in, no one will ever recognize your brilliant acting. I will go see the movie, "Two Week's Notice", just to watch your back. Hugh Grant can go kiss his whore buyin', Hurley boffin' butt, though.
:: Johnny 12:19 AM [+] ::
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Johnny Walsh. I did a search for my own name. Ohh, how Walsh-o-centric. Here's a couple interesting items that turned up:
Johnny Walsh was considered beautiful. All the girls said it. He had straight black hair with see-through blue eyes and he had some kind of Zen deal going on. People were drawn to his quietness to see what he had to say. The biggest rumor about Johnny Walsh was that he had “gone all the way” with “ the Troy and Tracy twins.” He was fourteen and they were thirteen. Walsh had achieved some kind of playground sainthood, ascending into the neighborhood mythic. http://www.surf-station.com/surstor.htm

...was born in Saint John and started skating in 1947. Over the course of eleven years he had won 87 trophies, 35 in the United States. As a young skater Johnny Walsh cracked Charlie Gorman's 440 yard record. Some other achievements included winning The New England Indoor Championships (1952), Long Island Indoor 1953, North Eastern Outdoor 1953, Saratoga Three Mile (1954). Johnny won national recognition in United States when he captured the Race of Champions at Madison Square Garden competing at the Silver Skate. Walsh stated winning that race before 13,000 spectators was "one of the biggest thrills of my career." At the age of 30 he finished the two-mile course ahead of Ray Blum, a member of the 1952 U.S. Olympic Team, Dick Ring and 21 year old Steve Stensin of College Point, New York. http://www.saintjohn.nbcc.nb.ca/~Heritage/Speedskate/SJ1930Now.htm#JohnyWalsh

:: Johnny 12:12 AM [+] ::
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New Age Business Speak. Colleague Kathy attended a seminar yesterday where she heard these gems:
"Villainize"
"Re-track"
"We have been tasked with preparing a report."
"Let's bookmark that for discussion later."
"This will help you double-click on what you've learned and expand your knowledge."
"How are we going to metric our success?"
:: Johnny 3:21 PM [+] ::
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PSA. On Monday October 7th Between 11:00AM and 2:00 PM Broadway will be intermittently closed due to the filming of a promotional video by "NYC Olympics 2012". The closure will effect Broadway from Beaver Street at Bowling Green north to Pine Street and Broadway. Traffic will be halted while a runner with a torch sprints up Broadway accompanied by emergency vehicles. It is requested that Building Owners and Managers facilitate replicating actual ticker tape parade conditions by distributing paper materials and opening windows. It is also requested that employees be encouraged to participate by standing along the route and following the instructions of the producers. Barricades will be placed along the curb lines of Broadway and pedestrian street crossings will be limited only during actual filming . Yawn.
:: Johnny 3:18 PM [+] ::
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“Meal solutions.” I went to the local Waldbaum’s supermarket the other day. Aisle 4 had this sign:
Canned vegetables
Soups
Sauces
Meal Solutions.
Meal solutions? What’s up with that? Turns out it meant Hamburger Helper and crap like that. Since when does an outmoded and over-used term from the high-tech industry get co-opted by supermarket chains?

:: Johnny 2:14 PM [+] ::
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Just Say No to Circumcision? http://www.primalspirit.com/parvati2_1.htm
:: Johnny 2:01 PM [+] ::
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The Happy Vampire. Here's a listing of vampires and their various attributes, listed by country of origin: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A273566
For instance, there are three types of Greek vampires. The Catacano is my fave:
Greece - Catacano/Bruculaco/Callicantzaros
Catacano - the happy vampire - grins constantly, showing its pearlies. It spits blood on people who subsequently become its victims if they are hit by said bloody discharge - it burns. To kill it, isolate it behind salt water or boil its head in vinegar.
The Bruculaco has swollen, hard skin and sounds like a drum when struck and it also spreads the plague. It can scream once per night, if you answer the call you will die. Cut of its head and either burn or boil it to kill it for good.
A child born between Christmas and the Twelfth Night (5 January) becomes a Callicantzaros after death - appearing between Christmas and Twelfth Night each year to tear people to pieces with its extended fingernails. The rest of the year it exists in some nether world.

:: Johnny 1:58 PM [+] ::
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Mr. Bling. For all your hip-hop style gold teeth cap needs, I recommend this chap: http://www.mrbling.com/index.htm (a BIG shout-out to francie for the link!!!)
:: Johnny 1:53 PM [+] ::
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War on Terror. It continues apace... http://www.battlecreekenquirer.com/news/stories/20020926/localnews/160109.html
:: Johnny 1:48 PM [+] ::
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Holy Apparitions. Here is a handy guide to all of the BVM sightings (and her Son) around the world for the past thousand years or so. It includes scoring as how serious the Church is taking each case. http://www.apparitions.org/
:: Johnny 3:58 AM [+] ::
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Jesus Images. This is weird. I can't tell if a farce or sincere. Just know Jesus is with you... http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/
:: Johnny 3:55 AM [+] ::
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Sports and Religion. No, God doesn't give a shit whether you caught the ball or not. Is it all about you, and because you love Jesus? If the badminton team from India beats the team from Hong Kong, formed mostly of Protestant English dudes (the tournament is going on now), is Ganesh the elephant god shining through? This article here says it all. I like Costas' take--if there is a sick kid somewhere, or thousands people dying because of some folly, why would God cause you to, or care if, you get the game-winning hit? Great article. http://www.salon.com/news/sports/2002/09/28/praying/index.html
:: Johnny 3:51 AM [+] ::
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Devil Rays. A born-again Christian on the Florida baseball team (name Russ Johnson or something like that?) has asked the owners to remove the word "Devil" from the team's name. As a wag on FARK said, If this goes through, does that mean that Devil's Food Cake will now be known as "Food Cake"?

:: Johnny 3:48 AM [+] ::
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Life During Wartime. I go out to smoke a butt. In front of 55 Water are guys who's back graphics identify themselves as NYPD Emergency Services. They are carrying shotguns. They are carrying sub-machine guns. They look serious, grim. A guy's radio goes off. They jump into their black van, make a U-turn and head off down the street, sirens wailing. My cig hangs from my lower lip while I say to myself, "what the fuck..."
:: Johnny 1:12 AM [+] ::
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"Chatting." I don't get this at all (and believe me, I am a pro at "chatting"). http://www.mistabutchwalka.com/ldogg.html
:: Johnny 1:04 AM [+] ::
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