:: Quipu ::

The On-line Journal of Strange Information and Twisted Thoughts drongozone@yahoo.com
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:: Wednesday, July 31, 2002 ::

Get Ready For Crassness on a Major Scale. Big anniversary coming up in September. Read this article: http://www.alternet.org/story.html?StoryID=13713 A quote from the article: “Must the words "In light of the events of Sept. 11" or "In the wake of the events of Sept. 11" be included in nearly everything I see, read or hear from sunup to sundown, every day, for the rest of my own personal eternity, no matter how inconsequential or stupid the context?” Hear, hear.
:: Johnny 12:10 PM [+] ::
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Melbaworld. Fun recreational Christianity site. http://www.melbaworld.com/
:: Johnny 12:09 PM [+] ::
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The Virtues of Promiscuity. You go, girls! http://www.alternet.org/story.html?StoryID=13648

:: Johnny 12:07 PM [+] ::
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My Crop Circle. “Signs,” a movie with that Mel Gibson fellow about crop circles, starts this weekend. In 1992, I built my own crop circle. I was living on an acre in East Hampton, and cut the grass weekly with a riding mower. That was fun. It took about an hour and half to do the acre, and I used the interim as “thinking time”—there wasn’t much else to do. One time I was thinking about the slew of crop circles that were appearing in U.K. farm fields that summer, and I thought, I’m gonna make my own. I went to the far back corner of the lot, which was sort of shielded by a grove of trees—I had let this small portion of grass “go to meadow.” I drove into the middle of this unmowed patch (with blade disengaged, natch), and proceeded to circle outward from the center, cutting the tall grass down to size. Soon, I had a circle that was about 20 feet in diameter. I had made a crop circle.
I loved my crop circle, but it was kinda nondescript—it was nothing like the beautiful designs in the English countryside. So, I decided to make The One Stone Henge. I found a rock in the stone wall that was about the size and shape of a toilet seat cover, similar to the “heel stone” at Stonehenge. I made a small trench in the center of the circle and planted the rock in it. Presto! Instant pagan worship site. I would go out at night and dance around the stone naked under the moonlight (NOT!).
I cared for the circle all summer, carefully entering into it with blade up so as to keep a buffer of tall grass around it. Apparently the neighbors took notice of the construction, and being the big Christians that they were, suspiciously asked my wife at the time what the circle “was used for.” She told them I was an “artist” (I’m not) and that the circle was an “installation”. Ha. Good answer.
Toward the end of August, we went away for the weekend, and my brother-in-law stayed at the house while we were away. Imagine my dismay upon our return that he had cut the grass. The dumbbell mowed every inch of the yard—including the buffer surrounding the crop circle. I think he did it at the urging of my mother-in-law, another fanatical Christian. I wanted to murderlize him. Shoot, I never even took a photo of the thing. As far as the “real” circles go, I believe that they are all man-made and “aliens” and “universal nature energy” have nothing to do with them. Some of them are really quite beautiful, and I admire those hoaxsters and artists who make them. Here’s a good site for viewing. http://www.cropcircles.co.uk/maps/gallery/gallery.htm

:: Johnny 12:06 PM [+] ::
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:: Tuesday, July 30, 2002 ::
Burning Bridges. My nephew Hans is the singer in this Albany, NY-based band. The group will be touring around this fall and a CD is in the works (I do believe a recording contract has been offered.) http://www.burningbridges.0catch.com
:: Johnny 4:46 PM [+] ::
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Bomb Dog! You know how the FBI, ATF, NYPD etc. have those huge initials representing their agency emblazoned on their backs? Well, we have had a bomb-sniffing dog patrolling my building’s perimeter for almost the past year, and (in the middle of a heat wave (???)) they finally gave that dog’s handler a jacket to wear that identifies himself as a bomb-sniffing dog dude. It says “CANINE.” I dunno, it just doesn’t have the panache of those others. Plus, shouldn’t that be “K-9”? “CANINE” might be mistaken for some new hip-hop fashion thing—you know, like Timberland or Tommy H.
:: Johnny 4:24 PM [+] ::
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:: Monday, July 29, 2002 ::
Comments? drongozone@yahoo.com And don't forgewt to click the archives button forolder stuff. And if Hans sent you, click the home page, becuse i think he sent you an archive page.
:: Johnny 12:56 AM [+] ::
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:: Sunday, July 28, 2002 ::
Philip K. Dick As Fashion Designer. This author's works spawned the "Blade Runner" and "Minority Report" movies. The characters in his wild novel "Ubik" sport some serious threads. Some guy compiled all the mentions here: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Chamber/1380/pkd/phasion.html
Here are a couple of examples from the comprehensive list.
"...a worried-looking clerical individual with nearly opaque glasses and wearing a tabby-fur blazer and pointed yellow shoes..."
"A tall, elderly man, with large hands and a quick, sprightly stride came toward him. He wore a varicolored Dacron wash-and-wear suit, knit cummerbund and a dip-dyed cheesecloth cravat."
"Still in gay pinstripe clown-style pajamas..."
"A woolly-haired adolescent boy wrapped in a superior and cynical cloud of pride, this one, in a floral mumu and Spandex bloomers..."
"...thirtyish, sand-colored lady wearing ersatz vicuna trousers and a gray sweatshirt on which had been printed a now faded full-face portrait of Bertrand Lord Russell."
"...wearing his customary natty birch-bark pantaloons, hemp-rope belt, peekaboo see-through top and train-engineer's tall hat..."
"He fixed his gaze on a flabby, big-footed, middle-aged, unnatural-looking individual with pasted-down hair, muddy skin plus a peculiar protruding Adam's apple--clad, for this occasion, in a shift dress the color of a baboon's ass."

:: Johnny 6:53 PM [+] ::
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Nyctea Scandiaca. I saw my favorite bird at the nature preserve today--a snowy owl. http://www.owlpages.com/species/nyctea/scandiaca/Default.htm
:: Johnny 6:45 PM [+] ::
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Greetings, Winston Smith. This article pretty much sums up where we're headed. Break out the Victory cigarettes and the Victory gin. http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2002/07/28/IN244190.DTL
:: Johnny 6:37 PM [+] ::
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Quivering, tentacled, jumbo flying mollusks.
Jumbo Squid Wash Ashore in Calif.
Sat Jul 27, 3:08 PM ET
SAN DIEGO (AP) - Thousands of jumbo flying squid measuring up to 2 feet long have washed ashore at a La Jolla beach, surprising scientists and swimmers. Workers on Friday removed 12 tons of dead and dying squid stranded at La Jolla Cove. It may have been the largest local mass stranding in nearly 100 years, said Eric Hochberg, a scientist with the Santa Barbara Natural History Museum.
Hochberg believes the quivering, tentacled mollusks were stranded while chasing a school of grunion, a fish that spawns on the sand at high tide. http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20020727/ap_on_re_us/brf_dying_squid

:: Johnny 1:11 AM [+] ::
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:: Saturday, July 27, 2002 ::
NYC Health Dept. Inspection.
SIDESTREET SALOON, 11 SCHUYLER STREET, NY 10301 Inspection Date: 01/03/2002.
"At the time of inspection, no violations were found that presented a threat to public health, or were related directly to factors leading to foodborne illness."
Hmmmm. For some less-stellar reports on other places in the neighborhood, look here: http://207.127.96.244/scripts/webfood.pl
:: Johnny 6:05 PM [+] ::
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Posting. Shoot, I missed a day, and too busy to go trolling. So, for amusement,just do a search for sharpeworld.
:: Johnny 1:21 PM [+] ::
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:: Friday, July 26, 2002 ::
Essex Girls. Is it true what they say? http://www.essexgirls.co.uk/essexgirls/home.html
:: Johnny 2:58 AM [+] ::
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Well, I'm Off to the Bay State. A few days off and away from computers. Why do we still call them computers when the only thing I have computed lately using this machine is the number of "baby" references in Gene Vincent songs? "Communicator" is more like it. Take it eeease. (Ahh, I'll probably pop up.)
:: Johnny 2:19 AM [+] ::
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Brain of Britain. In the Big Bopper story I related July 15, I mentioned the Brain of Britain. I had heard this phrase years ago on "Eastenders," the sad, depressing, need-a-translator-to-watch soap opera concerning down and out Limeys that is shown on PBS. Then, not too long ago, S., formerly of Essex, now hailing from the Wilds Of Wales, referred to me as "Brain of Britain" in relation to some stupid remark I made. So, I wondered, what is this Brain of Britain crap all about. Fortunately, there is an Internet. I didntt go searching wildly, but this is interesting:
"Ian Gillies
We are very sad to have to report the death in April 2002 of Ian Gillies, after a long illness.
Ian was the doyen of radio quizzes and for over 30 years provided the questions that intrigued, delighted and challenged the Radio 4 audience. He was also 'Mycroft', to whom Robert Robinson deferred in Brain of Britain as the final arbiter of contestants' answers.
Having been crowned 'Brain of Britain' (1964), 'Brain of Brains' (1965) and 'Top Brain' (1971), Ian gave up his job as an advertising account manager to lend his amazing general knowledge to the BBC full-time."
Shoot, I wanna work for the Beeb.
:: Johnny 2:09 AM [+] ::
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The Big Bopper Again. I was reviewing the July 15 post about what a movie about this lummox should be called. I suggested "The Big Bopper Story." In my present lucidity, I think that should have been "The The Big Bopper Story."
:: Johnny 1:53 AM [+] ::
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:: Thursday, July 25, 2002 ::
Crime News From Japan. I dunno--stumbled across it when looking at a new "digital" fan. http://www.japantoday.com/e/?content=news&cat=2
:: Johnny 3:59 AM [+] ::
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Joe Strummer. Hear him guest-DJ on WFMU here. Includes the original of "Brand New Cadillac" by Vince Taylor (see July 15 entry). http://www.wfmu.org/playlists/shows/321
:: Johnny 3:42 AM [+] ::
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This would be your official Ghostface Killah Web site: http://www.ghostfacekillah.com/ I am proud to share my Staten Island heritage with this man.
:: Johnny 3:15 AM [+] ::
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Rappers.
Some relatively new ones:
Cash Money Millionaires
Nelly and the St. Lunatics crew
Busta and the Flipmode Squad
Lil' Bow Wow
P. Diddy
Jay-Z
DMX
Lil' Kim
Mystikal
Eve
Ja Rule
Jadakiss
Trick Daddy
Xzibit
Meth, RZA, GZA, Ghostface Killah (for my money the best rap name of all time), and the rest of the Wu-Tang Clan
And now, the Old School:
Grandmaster Flash
Busy Bee
Melle Mel
Jazzy Jay
Kool Moe Dee
Afrika Bambaataa
DJ Red Alert
the Cold Crush Brothers
Fab 5 Freddy
Kurtis Blow
Kool Herc
The Funky 4+1
Famous dead ones
Tupac
Notorious B.I.G.
Eazy-E
Scott LaRock
And the rest...
Hammer
Vanilla Ice
Baby Tragic
DJ Phreek Malik
Da Ill Collector
Mos Def
Chuck D
Ad-Rock
MC Serch
Dan The Automator
and, of course Del The Funky Homo Sapien
:: Johnny 3:02 AM [+] ::
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The Clash. Long-time Johnny Walsh fans are wondering "When the heck is he gonna get around to discussing "The Only Group That Matters"? Not yet. I will tell the TRUE story of when rap melded with rock & roll, and no one named Jam Master Jay or Tyler was involved. Only Joe, Mick, Paul, Topper, and......
:: Johnny 2:36 AM [+] ::
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Frankie Lymon. This was one interesting cat--and kinda weird lookin', at that. Murdered and such in Harlem whorehouse. Or was it heroin overdose? And he, and the Teenagers, sang about juvenile delinquency, but the lyrics to "I Do Not Want To Be A Juvenile Delinquent" are not on line, as far as I can tell. Pity. Other songs are here though: http://www.lyricfind.com/artists/2096/
:: Johnny 2:33 AM [+] ::
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The J.B.'s. This was James Brown's backup band. Hayes had a record by them. Here's the intro to a great live recording of an instrumental on that record.
Ladies ands Gentlemen,
There are seven acknowledged wonders of the world, you are about to witness the eighth.
Standing in the spotlight, on showcase, twelve young men, who have given you such tunes as [drum roll] "The Grunt", Pass The Peas", "Gimme Some More".
Ladies and Gentlemen, without no doubt, these are the J.B.'s !

:: Johnny 2:18 AM [+] ::
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I Reveal My True Fetish, Only Hinted At Before. http://www.girlswithglasses.com/home.html
:: Johnny 2:01 AM [+] ::
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Todd--We're with you c*c*s*c*e*.
:: Johnny 1:53 AM [+] ::
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Cellphone Dude. Only caught one line, but it was a beaut--"What did you go and spend money on THAT shit for, Diana?" What the hell did Diana buy? On Water Street, about 4 p.m. July 24, 2002.
:: Johnny 1:47 AM [+] ::
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The Beauty that is Belarus. "You are on the page, that I, Alena Filistovich, devoted to girl's beauty and crazy sex magic of my Homeland, Belarus." Don't open at the workplace. http://belarusianbeauty.com/
:: Johnny 1:44 AM [+] ::
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The Louvre. http://www.louvre.fr/louvrea.htm
:: Johnny 1:37 AM [+] ::
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More Hobo-ism. The link to the Hobo Times don't work no more. That dictionary I posted yesterday is not very useful. But here are Hobo signs: http://www.slackaction.com/signroll.htm Put your cursor over them. Third row, fourth one in, is, I think, my favorite.
:: Johnny 1:32 AM [+] ::
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:: Wednesday, July 24, 2002 ::
A Hobo Dictionary. http://elsa.photo.net/hobodictionary.html
:: Johnny 3:08 PM
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I like songs with names of places in them.
Wanted man in California,
Wanted man in Buffalo
Wanted man in Kansas City,
Wanted man in Ohio

Wanted man in Mississippi,
Wanted man in ol' Cheyenne

Wherever you might look tonight you might see this wanted man

I might be in Colorado,
Or Georgia by the sea
Working for some man who may not know at all who I might be

If you ever see me coming and if you know who I am
Don't you breathe it to nobody 'cause you know I'm on the lamb

Wanted man by Lucy Watson,
Wanted man by Jeannie Brown
Wanted man by Nellie Johnson,
Wanted man in this next town

I've had all that I wanted of a lot of things I've had
And a lot more than I needed of some things that turned out bad

I got sidetracked in El Paso,
Stopped to get myself a map
Went the wrong way in Pleura with Juanita on my back

Went to sleep in Shreveport,
Woke up in Abilene
Wonderin' why I'm wanted at some town half way in between

Wanted man in Albuquerque,
Wanted man in Syracuse
Wanted man in Tallahassee,
Wanted man in Baton Rouge

There's somebody set to grab me
Anywhere that I might be
And wherever you might look tonight
You might get a glimpse of me

Wanted man in California,
Wanted man in Buffalo
Wanted man in Kansas City,
Wanted man in Ohio

Wanted man in Mississippi,
Wanted man in ol' Cheyenne

Wherever you might look tonight you might see this wanted man



:: Johnny 2:21 PM [+] ::
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Fight the Evildoers! http://www.empty-handed.com/archive/images/orwell_poster.pdf
:: Johnny 12:25 AM [+] ::
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Krazy Kristian LP Kovers. Funny, sick and disturbing. http://www.retrocrush.com/archive/crazyrecors/
:: Johnny 12:22 AM [+] ::
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Ya Gotta Love those giant squids. http://www.cnn.com/2002/TECH/science/07/22/australia.squid/index.html/
:: Johnny 12:20 AM [+] ::
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:: Monday, July 22, 2002 ::
Monkey Man Returns. To India, that land of enchantment and strange, violent doings. "Others described it as resembling a machine, operated by a remote control and "handled by anti-social elements to terrorise people". http://abc.net.au/news/newsitems/s612495.htm
:: Johnny 8:35 AM [+] ::
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:: Sunday, July 21, 2002 ::
Rombi. He reiterated one of his best quotes last night. It's said in his tough guy, film noir voice: "This may be the Sidestreet Saloon for you, but it's a dead end for me, see?"

:: Johnny 5:29 AM [+] ::
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Name Mangler. That would be my dad. Poor guy has always had a problem with people's names. Especially ballplayers. Today, while watching the Yankees and Red Sox with him, he mentioned "Al Dewer" a couple of times. At first, I thought who the fuck is Al Dewer--but it dawned on me. He was referring to El Duque. I'm glad that Chuck Knoblauch is no longer a Yank--to hear him referred to as "Matlack" was driving me nuts...
:: Johnny 5:16 AM [+] ::
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Prison Songs. From that Lomax site I mentioned earlier. http://www.rounder.com/rounder/artists/lomax_alan/prison.htm
:: Johnny 5:03 AM [+] ::
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R.I.P. Alan Lomax. This legendary collector of folk music was the first to record greats like Leadbelly, Muddy Waters and Woody Guthrie. According to the Times, he was a musicologist, author, disc jockey, singer, photographer, talent scout, filmmaker, concert and recording producer, and television host. He lived nearby when I lived in the Hamptons. http://www.rounder.com/rounder/artists/lomax_alan/
:: Johnny 4:52 AM [+] ::
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Happy Birthday Diana Rigg. Only a day late. This woman, in her Emma Peel guise, had a part to play in my sexual awakening when I was a kid. http://emmapeel.cjb.net/
:: Johnny 4:30 AM [+] ::
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Gallery of Regrettable Food. This is one of my favorite sites of all time--been going there for years, which is eons in Internet time. The commentary is priceless. Also check out Lileks' other pages. http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/
:: Johnny 4:20 AM [+] ::
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Nanotechnology. I mentioned this in connection with the Alcor Life Extension freezing body joint the other day. Here's why nanotech might not work as it is currently envisioned. http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_2135000/2135779.stm#top
:: Johnny 4:14 AM [+] ::
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R.K. Sloane. King of the demented nightmare clown image. I hate clowns. http://www.rksloane.com/
:: Johnny 4:12 AM [+] ::
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True Porn Clerk Stories. Very funny, kinda gross. No way safe for work. http://www.improvisation.ws/mb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=4475
:: Johnny 4:10 AM [+] ::
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Karaoke. I forgot to say I totally sucked, except for the "Let's rock!" and "Let's rock it now!" parts of "Be-Bop-A-Lula".
:: Johnny 4:07 AM [+] ::
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:: Saturday, July 20, 2002 ::
Karaoke Night. At the Sidestreet, I sang "Be-Bop-A-Lula" by Gene Vincent and His Blue Caps, "Get Off My Cloud" by the Rolling Stones, and "I Saw Her Standing There" by the Beatles.
:: Johnny 3:22 AM [+] ::
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:: Friday, July 19, 2002 ::
Crash. Down 404 for the day. Wow.
:: Johnny 4:27 PM [+] ::
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E-Mail Roullette. Here's how it works: you sign up, then send whatever to however many you want anonymous people who are also signed up. Some people reply--others don't. I got one today from Illiac bemoaning the fact that her boyfriend doesn't realize what a great guy he is. http://www.plinko.net/Roulette

:: Johnny 4:24 PM [+] ::
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Crash. That giant flushing sound you're hearing right now is the NYSE--Dow is down 275.
:: Johnny 2:25 PM [+] ::
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Ferry Duckman Menaces Fast-Food Workers. The innocuous, non-insane looking Duckman of the Staten Island Ferry terminal was in good form today, quacking out his calls and making his little smirks in front of the McDonald's "eatery" in the terminal. At one point, he approached the counter and made his duck noises right at the workers, who told him to "be good, now" and "get lost."
:: Johnny 1:51 PM [+] ::
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Speak like a Droog. This chelloveck is feeling a bit bezoomy today. http://wso.williams.edu/~mhacker/clockglossary.html
:: Johnny 1:45 PM [+] ::
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Get Your War On. http://www.mnftiu.cc/mnftiu.cc/war.html
:: Johnny 1:27 PM [+] ::
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Now This Is a Babe. Now if she only wore spex, she'd be a babe-and-a-half... http://peek-a-boo-bang.wyrdweb.com/gallery.php
:: Johnny 1:26 PM [+] ::
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:: Thursday, July 18, 2002 ::
Fashion Police. I was just outside sucking on a gasper when i spied a woman in old-school (meaning two years ago) Capri pants. What's up with that?
:: Johnny 4:21 PM [+] ::
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In case there was any doubt...
Catwoman: "I could give you more happiness than anyone in the world."
Batman: "How do you propose to do that?"
Catwoman: "By being your partner in life, I mean it's me and you against the world."
Batman: "What about Robin?"
:: Johnny 2:29 PM [+] ::
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Well, this is scary. Reminds me of the film “Fahrenheit 451” in which “cousins” (ordinary citizens) turn in their neighbors for owning books. http://www.citizencorps.gov/tips.html
:: Johnny 10:56 AM [+] ::
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Gatecrashers! Tonight marks the one year anniversary of when my gal pal at the time and I unwittingly crashed Court TV's 20th anniversary party. After a Broadway matinee (No, not "Cats," stupid--"Contact"), drinks in Gramercy Park, and dinner in Chinatown, we headed back to the Isle of Staten. I suggested a "nightcap" (I hate that word) at the American Park at Battery Park, which is adjacent to the ferry. We sauntered over. From the outside, it was obvious the place was jumpin'! Festive sounds abounded! What gives, I thought. There were tables set up at the entrance with what seemed like people checking off guest lists and so forth but we just kept on going. This is a real class jernt, you know, and about a thousand "swells" jammed that jernt. We scored free drinks on the main floor, then made our way up the ornate staircase to the second floor, where the jazz/soul band was "cookin" (I hate that word in this context). We danced and drank and danced and drank some more. We saw a recognizable TV personality, Regis Philbin. Then we found out the big fireworks extravaganza was about to take place and we secured ringside seats, outside, right over the harbor. However, the display was delayed. We didn't care, and made out while waiting for the pyrotechnics to kick in. When they did, we oohed and aahed. When leaving the bash, we received lovely parting gifts courtesy of Court TV. The next day, Page Six of the Post revealed the reason for the fireworks delay--a floater ("body" to you non-NYC people) had appeared right there in the harbor by American Park at Battery Park. Kinda makes sense in a Court TV way, no?
:: Johnny 12:31 AM [+] ::
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:: Wednesday, July 17, 2002 ::
Glad you're feeling better, F.
:: Johnny 4:48 PM [+] ::
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Dumbass Seeks Same. Not as good as "head games," but the following is indicative of the imagination shortfall in Yahoo personal ads. I compiled this a couple of years ago. In fairness, i tried to look at ads in which men described themselves as "sensitive," but Yahoo won't let you search by keyword any more.
I enjoy the simple things in life: picnics in the park, walks on the beach,

Walks in the park, on the beach, or even down the street holding on the someone special

Walks on the beach, travelling, reading the sunday times with a great cup of coffee

I love Atlantic City, walks on the beach

enjoys simple pleasures; whether it's a walk on the beach, brunch in the city, or reading the Sunday papers

to the movies. I like walking on the beach

skiing, walks on the beach, romantic dinners, movies

skydiving, walks on the beach

intelligent conversations, walks on the beach

picnics, the beach in the evening, the circus, long walks

I enjoy walking on the beach, especially at night, cooking, movies

Note the startling difference when comparing the spelling/grammar of those ladies who prefer "walks on the beach" to those who don't want no head games (see July 11 entry).
:: Johnny 10:52 AM [+] ::
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:: Tuesday, July 16, 2002 ::
Burroughs' Last Journal Entry
Love? What is It?
Most natural painkiller what there is.
LOVE.



:: Johnny 4:30 AM [+] ::
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Buzz and the Flyers. This great rockabilly band performed around NYC in the late 70s/early 80s. When I say great, I mean superlative. What showmen. We used to follow these hepcats all over the place. One memorable show was at Max's Kansas City where they opened for England's Krazy Kavan and the Rhythm Rockers. It wasn't memorable for the great Buzz music, but the semi-brawl we had with Krazy Kavan's Brit supporters, who were all decked out in severe Teddy Boy gear. Another time, at "Rockabilly Night" at Tracks (or was it Tramps?), John Belushi was the judge of the dance contest along with Buzz. Roger and Joanne of our gang were I think the third place couple. (Also on that bill were Levi Dexter and the Ripchords--Levi was an English dude formerly of Levi and the Rockats, later simply The Rockats, when Levi left--and Rockin' Rob Stoner). Buzz himself later when on to have a hit with non-rockabilly, kinda Boy-Georgish The Joboxers called, I think, "Sex All The Time." At least thats was the chorus. Anyway, check out clips of Buzz and the Flyers music here http://www.nervous.co.uk/shindex.htm?http://www.nervous.co.uk/reviews/nercd006.htm I played almost the entire record at my last scratchy record party at Sidestreet Saloon and the place went wild...
:: Johnny 2:53 AM [+] ::
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Trouser Pilots and Chicken Slacks. A recent discussion among Sidestreet Saloon cognescenti revolved around the names of clothing articles that go on the legs or encircle the pelvic, groinic and hipular areas and how those words are among the most hideous in the English language when used in this context:
Pants
Trousers
Slacks
Underpants
Panties
Briefs
Culottes
Skorts
Pantaloons
Trunks
There's more, I know, but I'm too disgusted to continue. The discussion came about because one of our favorite misheard lyrics of all time was mentioned--Sam Cooke singing the line "Dancin' with a chick in slacks" coming over as "Dancin' with chicken slacks." (And we're concerned with this as things are starting to slide....)

:: Johnny 12:08 AM [+] ::
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:: Monday, July 15, 2002 ::
Huh? I caught this while walking past the TV room today, where the news was on: "A fight turned violent today as..."
:: Johnny 11:50 PM [+] ::
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The archives are now working--so see my earliest postings by clicking "archives" at the bottom of the page
:: Johnny 11:47 PM [+] ::
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Comments? Send 'em to drongozone@yahoo.com
:: Johnny 8:02 PM [+] ::
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Secret Museum of the Air. This radio show airs 7 p.m. Sunday on WFMU 91.1. It features mostly 78 RPM recordings of music from around the world from the first half of the 20th century. You can listen to the archives here. I am right now listening to music from the Pacific Rim. http://www.wfmu.org/playlists/SM
:: Johnny 8:00 PM [+] ::
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Alcor Life Extension Foundation.This is the current resting place of Splendid Splinter Ted Williams, the baseball great and from many accounts, an all-around shit-heel. Ted is frozen in the hope that he can somehow be revived in the future. I used to be an associate member of Alcor, meaning that I subscribed to its magazine, "Cryonics." Interesting reading, but these people are nuts. i gotta hand it to them though for being the among the most optimistic humans I've ever encountered. They are also behind a lot of the research going on in nanotechnology, which will probably end up either saving or enslaving the world a couple a hundred years from now. http://www.alcor.org/
:: Johnny 7:53 PM [+] ::
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Vince Taylor, The Black Leather Rebel An English geezer comes to America in 1946, later seemingly emulates Gene Vincent in appearance, then makes it big in Europe. The Clash got "Brand New Cadillac" from him. His brother-in-law was Joseph Barbera, the King of Lame Cartoons. Read about Vince and his band, The Playboys, here: http://www.rockabilly.nl/artists/vtaylor.htm
:: Johnny 3:03 AM [+] ::
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Baby. I just did a survey of the lyrics of 38 Gene Vincent songs. The word "baby" appears 263 times. That's an average of 6.92105263157894736842105263157895 appearances per song. The word "bop" (or variations) occurs 82 times. You do the math for this one.
:: Johnny 1:34 AM [+] ::
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Bop Cat Bop. There's no denying that Gene Vincent and His Blue Caps were straight outta the fridge, daddy-o. Be-Bop-A-Lula is one of the farthest gone songs of all time. It includes the bizarre line "She's the gal in the red blue jeans." But other songs' lyrics are straight outta the bughouse. Dig:
Wa-wo wa-wo-wa, Wa-wo wa-wo-wa
Wa-wo wa-wo-wa, Wa-wo wa-wo-wa
Wa-wo wa-wo-wa, Wa-wo wa-wo-wa
--"I Got a Baby"
Well the bluejean bop is the bop for me
It's the bop that's done in a dungaree
You flip your hip, free your knee
Squeel on your heel baby, one to three
Well bluejean baby when I bop with you
Well my heart starts hoppin' like a kangaroo
Well the bluejean bop, bluejean bop
Oh baby, bluejean bop, bluejean bop
Oh baby, bluejean bop, baby won't you bop with Gene.
Bop Blue Caps, Bop
--"Blue Jean Bop"
Flea brain, (flea brain) hop-hop-hop
Flea brain, (flea brain) a-rock-rock-rock
Flea brain, she's got a hole in her head
If she wasn't good lookin', she'd be better off dead.
There's a brand new lassie moved in down the block
She's got a classy chassy and she knows how to rock
Stacked just right from her head to her shoe
She acts like somethin' that escaped from the zoo
Flea brain, (flea brain) a-hop-hop-hop
Flea brain, (flea brain) a-rock-rock-rock
Flea brain, she's got a hole in her head
If she wasn't good lookin', she'd be better off dead. (Rock it now)
--"Flea Brain"
Cool. Uh, I mean straight outta the fridge, dad.
Here's an interesting tidbit Some dude named "Dickie Harrell" performed the screams on "Be-Bop-A Lula." why he gets special credit on this lyric page I dunno: http://home.wanadoo.nl/rock_and_roll/genesong.htm#flebr
:: Johnny 12:56 AM [+] ::
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War On Elvis While I can't predict the next terr-rist action, I will predict the next spate of vague terror warnings. They will occur around August 10 to August 18. This, cats and chicks, will be Elvis Week here in America, celebrating (uh, I mean "observing") the 25th anniversary of the King's death. While it is obvious to suave, urbane and cosmopolitan folks like you and me that terrorizing a few of the nation's legions of Elvii during a prayer vigil might not be a bad idea, it shit-sure ain't gonna happen.
http://www.elvis.com/graceland/calendar/elvis_week_2002.asp
:: Johnny 12:02 AM [+] ::
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:: Sunday, July 14, 2002 ::
Oh Baby, That's What I Like. Buddy Holly got a movie. Ritchie Valens got a movie. For crying out loud, how come The Big Bopper doesn't rate a movie? Anyone with a moniker like "The Big Bopper" deserves a movie. Shoot, I deserve a movie just for being born a couple hours after Buddy, Ritchie, and The Big Bopper collectively made like Greg Louganis into that Iowa cornfield. If The Big Bopper does get a movie, I think it should be called "The Big Bopper: Portrait of a Serial Killer." Wait, I think that title was used. There are two almost sickeningly obvious choices: "The Big Bopper Story" and "Chantilly Lace." When it comes to movies about people who died on Feb. 3, 1959, you either name it after the bloke who dies ("The Buddy Holly Story") or the bloke's most famous song ("La Bamba"), right? Hold on, I'm having a brainstorm--how about "Chantilly Lace: The Big Bopper Story". I'm a bleedin' Brain of Britain for coming up with that one, dontcha think? (Hi Shazz.)
:: Johnny 11:38 PM [+] ::
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Finsterblau. Here's an example of how language evolves.As you all know, "fin" has been a slang word for a five-dollar bill forever. Well, while growing up, a friend from the old gang, Eddie, started calling it a "finster." Then Channel 11started replaying "The Honeymooners" again. One of our favorite episodes involved a co-worker betting Ralph that Alice couldn't cook them a nice roast chicken dinner on a moment's notice. The co-worker's name? Joe Finsterblau. Guess the rest. (My ex lives in upstate New York and uses "finsterblau" to denote five bucks to this day, so who knows maybe it will really start spreading around.)
Finsterblau Redux. I just did a search for "Joe Finsterblau" on the Web. No matches. Ixnay on "Joseph Finsterblau", as well. "Finsterblau", however, generated a grand total of two matches, and neither mentions a five-dollar bill.
:: Johnny 11:11 PM [+] ::
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The FBI forensic guy character on Twin Peaks (played by Miguel Ferrer) was one of my favorites. He was a regular riot--he got to utter things like:
Doc Hayward: Have you no compassion?
Albert: I’ve got compassion running out of my nose, pal. I’m the sultan of sentiment. Dr. Hayward, I have traveled thousands of miles, and apparently several centuries, to this forgotten sinkhole in order to perform a series of tests. Now, I do not ask you to understand these tests- I am not a cruel man- I just ask you to get the hell out of my way so I can do my work, is that clear?
and:
Albert: Okay. I performed the autopsy on Jacques Renault. Stomach contents revealed, let’s see- beer cans, a Maryland license plate, half a bicycle tire, a goat and a small wooden puppet- goes by the name of Pinnochio.
Cooper: You’re making a joke!
Albert: I like to think of myself as one of the ‘Happy Generations’....
See more Twin Peaks humor here:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Boulevard/1884/pg21.html
:: Johnny 10:57 PM [+] ::
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Prince William is the Antichrist. Well, I'll be a ring-tailed baboon! Who woulda thunk? Lots of lunacy here. Bin Laden is in here too in relation to the giant comet that will impact in the Atlantic and drown America--sometime in the next few months.
http://www.angelfire.com/freak/windsor666/1.html
:: Johnny 10:46 PM [+] ::
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I think I'm about ready for this....
Overhead blimp: A new life awaits you in the off-world colonies, the chance to begin again in a golden land of opportunity and adventure. New climate...
Overhead blimp: A new life awaits you in the off-world colonies, the chance to begin again in a golden land of opportunity and adventure. New climate, recreation facilities...
--from the "Blade Runner" script.
:: Johnny 5:31 AM [+] ::
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:: Saturday, July 13, 2002 ::
Twists, Slugs and Roscoes
http://www.miskatonic.org/slang.html
:: Johnny 11:17 PM [+] ::
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Check back every day, folks.
:: Johnny 11:16 PM [+] ::
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I don't know which is scarier, her or the page design.
http://www.ctol.net/~dwhitham/main2.html
:: Johnny 11:11 PM [+] ::
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I had this up on a site called "dichotomy," which paired vignettes from witnesses and participants. Think I'll put it here.
A Witness
September 11, 2001
Tuesday 9/11 was a horror ordeal for me (but nothing compared with the real suffering). I saw the second plane hit and the huge fireball explosion from my office window. Watched first building collapse on office TV.
When evacuating the building, I was caught in debris cloud cascading down concrete canyons while trying to make it to FDR Drive. Was in Bataan-style march up there with tens of thousands of people. I looked over my left shoulder and watched the second building fall down.
I decided not to use the Brooklyn bridge as an escape route and to stop a sec and assess the situation. I figured it was safer away from crowds. I stood on a corner for a while, covered in crap, debris, and dust and spied a place that had set up tables outside with water and towels and such.
Turned out to be Jeremy's Ale House. They had TVs going, telephones and, obviously, beer. Hung out til I found out ferries running again, then made it back to Staten Island. I like TV spectacles--I hated this one.
I went to my old hangout, the Sidestreet Saloon, right on harbor by ferry terminal with view of Manhattan skyline (changed forever). There I made sandwiches for the rescue workers.
I'm still trying to make sense of it all. I can't.
Johnny


:: Johnny 10:50 PM [+] ::
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:: Friday, July 12, 2002 ::
Shooed away again! I was leaning on a wall enclosing a driveway at 4 New York Plaza (smoking, natch). Two "security" guys in orange vests emblazoned with "SECURITY" started shouting "Sir!,Sir" and making hand-gestures that I took to mean "Get your skinny butt away from there." So I vamoosed, in my cooperative spirit of Homeland Security.
:: Johnny 12:48 PM [+] ::
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Overheard cell-phone doofus of the day:
"I'M ON THE BOAT!"
"FUCKING HAITIAN WOMAN MADE ME MISS THE OTHER ONE"
"MOTHER-FUCKIN' HAITIANS! I HATE 'EM"
THE HAITIAN TOKEN CLERK MADE ME MISS THE BOAT!"
I think alcohol was involved...the dude was on his way to zombification.
:: Johnny 12:37 AM [+] ::
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:: Thursday, July 11, 2002 ::
Quipu Here's a bunch of references to "head games" I culled from only a small smattering of Yahoo Personal ads. Just what are "head games" any way? Hmmmmm? All bad spelling and grammar left intact.

Not into playing head games so if you are move on.

I'm not looking to play any head games.

If you into head games, I'm not the one.

I am not intrested in playing head games

I AM NOT LOOKING FOR NO HEAD GAMES JUST SERIOUS MINDED MEN.

If your down-2-earth and sweet and not into head games then send me a response if not just keep on clicking on to the next ad.

I am to old for head games!! So please come to me correct!!

Not into playing head games.

I am not into head games.

Looking for a tall, 25 - 33 yr old man who doesn't mind a little affection in public every once and a while, without playing any head/mind games.

I hate head games.

NO HEAD GAMES.PLEASE BE HONEST

please, no head games!

P.S. I am not into head games.

But, if you like to play games or your head isn't on straight, please just pass me by

I do not want someone who is into playing head games.

Don't know exactly what I am looking for, but - head games, low self esteems, whiners, Don Juan's, momma's boys need not contact me.

NO HEAD GAMES (Italian background - enuf said!)

I AM NOT INTO HEADS GAMES

:: Johnny 3:32 PM [+] ::
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Thanks to F. for inspiring me to do this--I think it's gonna be fun. And rewarding. And all that crap.
:: Johnny 12:49 PM [+] ::
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Umm, that wonderful source of news is www.kcna.co.jp. Sorry, i still gotta figure out the linking crap.
:: Johnny 12:45 PM [+] ::
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A wonderful of source of news is available here: www.kcna.co.jp/ Bloody marvelous.
:: Johnny 12:36 PM [+] ::
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July 11, 2002
Welcome to Quipu. What the heck is a quipu? It's a knotted length of rope used by the Incas to convey information. Check them out here: http://www.spanish.sbc.edu/MMLatAm/Quipus.html. Maybe a twisted rope is a fine, fine represenation of the goings-on in my noggin. Ever wonder how the Incas got their name? I know. A jazzbo I knew in my East Village days with the unlikely name of Jemeel Moondoc Holiday told me--"The Incas? They call them that because they drank ink," he said matter of factly.
What's been going on this week in Manhattan's Financial DistricT? Well, besides the ongoing stock market crash, on Tuesday there was lots of hoopla--"President" Bush came to town and had all the streets blocked off and landed at the heliport next to my building. I was shooed away from my fave smoking spot nearby as I evidently look like a ter-rist. Then, during a concert in the adjacent Vietnam Veteran's Plaza by country music quartet Little Big Town (the 2 chicks in the group sure put the you-know-what back in count-ry, I tell you), Dubya and his fleet of choppers drowned out the singing as they took off. Poor Little Big Town.

:: Johnny 12:32 PM [+] ::
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