:: Quipu ::

:: Saturday, December 28, 2002 ::

Yule Log Broadcast Burns Up Big Apple Ratings.
:: Johnny 7:47 PM [+] ::
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Karaoke. Tonight, I totally screwed up the Who's version of Eddie Cochran's "Summertime Blues," did a masterful job of "Be-Bop-A-Lula" by Gene Vincent and His Blue Caps, and, after struggling with it for a couple of weeks, finally did a decent performance of Nick Lowe's/Dave Edmunds' "I Knew the Bride (When She Used to Rock and Roll)". In the latter, I altered the lyrics a bit--I substituted "West Brighton boys" for "street-corner boys". The Staten Islanders who recognized the neighborhood reference cheered. I'm having a great time edju-macating the kids about the punk rock of the 1950s.
:: Johnny 4:55 AM [+] ::
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Third World Sex. I thought this might be a put-on, but no. Dr Karamaj will answer your questions of a "private" matter. Here's a sample:
Name: sam, Age: 21, Gender: M, Place:
Question: 5
I have one ball. There is any problem in sex in future life ?
Answer
No.
No nonsense guy. One chap describes his erectional dysfunction, only to have the doc tell him, "Consult your sexologist." Thanks, doc. Here's the home page, in case you need/want/crave a Hindu mate. Oh, and if you need to contact Dr. Karamaj, here's the pertinent info:
Contact Dr. Kamaraj at:
Aadhav Sexual Medicine and Marietal Therapy CENTRE
No 133, Kamakody Street, 64, Lake View Road,
West Mambalam,
Chennai - 600 033.
PH: 474 5599, 474 2727, 4897098
Don't forget--"CENTRE" is in all caps.


:: Johnny 4:33 AM [+] ::
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Savages on Blondes. One of my far-flung (female) correspondents sent me this link. It's pornographic. It's racist. It's mysoginistic. It has great blurbs. Beware.
:: Johnny 3:55 AM [+] ::
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No Elvis, Beatles or the Rolling Stones. No more Joe, either. Here's his BBC obit. I've been writing in my mind the past few days what that guy meant to me. As I've said to my friends, I now know what Beatles fans felt when their guy was gunned down. Shit, Strummer was only a rock star, but hundreds of heartfelt words about him and the connection I felt with him are headed your way, direct from my bleedin' brain. Hopefully Saturday night, before I go away on vacation.
:: Johnny 3:38 AM [+] ::
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The Unofficial Daljit Dhaliwal Appreciation Page. I used to watch her on ITN World News with my ex. I told her I wanted to date Daljit. We're now divorced...go figure..
From the site's guestbook: "a very merry christmas to a fine,intelletual lady.daljit dhaliwal you are a superb talent who is not to be outdone. the quality of your news reporting and your enunciation,your resonance, your timing, your immaculate appearance, classy dressing in clothing,topped off by a sense of style that is so indescribably great. so many of us appreciate you in so many ways. love, clark." And, another one: "i wanna stuff a hamburger in her mouth while storming her southern beach. shes always there for me. she never says no. she likes white guys. shes prolly a @#%$! on wheels. i love her."
:: Johnny 4:08 PM [+] ::
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Those Chechens Are At It Again. Suicide blasts kill 46.
:: Johnny 3:57 PM [+] ::
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This Is What Francie Got For Xmas.
:: Johnny 3:46 PM [+] ::
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Another Walken Interview. This one's about food and cooking, mostly. Again, hear his voice as you read his words. (Thanks, Jack).
:: Johnny 2:30 PM [+] ::
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Gangs of New York. We get a review of same from Womack: "Saw Gangs of NY last night. A mess, but an awesome mess. Daniel Day-Lewis at times seems to be speaking, using your voice. He's completely fabulous. It's all remarkably violent, but in the best possible ways. Like a very goofy opera. It's far from perfect but don't miss it."

:: Johnny 2:23 PM [+] ::
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Letter From Rombi.
Dear John,
My heartfelt condolences on the death of your favorite musician. I guess now it's safe for me to become a Clash lover.
Anyway, last Wednesday those two guys, the fat guy and the evil clown-faced kid, were playing cards? The skies were angry that night my friend, and the rain pelted the rooftops with a fury the like of which we may never see again. Well, the clown face kid asked me, "Where you work again--NBC?"
"No, ABC," I replied demurely. I've spoken to this guy before and he is a dimwit. His hulkish buddy, who by the way was pasting him at the card game, says to me, "Oh yeah," how d'y like it?"
"Well I been workin' there fer 20 years, so I'm a little sick of it but I gotsta admit's a good job for a bum like me." "Soun's innarestin'," says the fat guy. "Yeah, it's not so bad," I continued—
"Don't you ever shut up?" the clown faced kid suddenly blurts out.
" I'll shut up," says I, "long enough to smash your head in."and then I left off.
Later, the kid buys me a shot and I did the same in kind. I went over to thank him, and he says" "Git away from me you f***ing faggot."
"F**k you, junior, "I'll tear yer f**king head off." I replied.
"That's not gonna happen."
So then I'm leaving and he tosses off another slur. I got mad. Not so much at the crude remarks but at the fact that he was deliberately trying to ruin my evening and why? I figger he was steamed at losing in cards and jealous that I have a decent career while he has to scrape bubble gum off windowpanes or whatever he does. He's very young and I shouldn't have let him get t' me but I would like to have made peace.
I was standing outside trying to decide whether or not to go to Danny O's or get a slice of pizza when he and his fat friend came out. The kid faced off with me and I asked him, "Why did you have to ruin everything--your friend asked me a question and you f***ing tell me to shut up? F**k You! You faggot little asshole!" To which he clumsily swung and jumped at me and (since I had my hands in my pockets) I couldn't do anything but slide off the curb and my foot got crunched betwixt the slippery curb and a car tire. Brian called a cab and I went to St. Vincent's where they had to operate the next night. I got nine screws and a plate in my ankle and won't be ale to walk for five more weeks. I guess I showed that evil clown-faced kid.
Next I'll tell you about the nightmare roommate I had at the hospital.
Happy New Yeah'

:: Johnny 2:16 PM [+] ::
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Joe Rombi....has broken his ankle and can't walk for five weeks. He's holed up at parents' house. Click "contact" above and I will forward your words of encouragement and good cheer.
:: Johnny 1:15 PM [+] ::
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Dumbasses. This is a site for people who have fallen victim to various Nigerian con jobs.
:: Johnny 12:52 PM [+] ::
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It's a Girl! The Raelian UFO cult clone baby is born.
:: Johnny 12:50 PM [+] ::
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Walken. Here's an interview with the slightly "off" actor. As you read his words, imagine you are hearing them in his voice.
:: Johnny 12:49 PM [+] ::
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Joe Strummer. Hear him guest-DJ on WFMU here. Includes the original of "Brand New Cadillac" by English rockabilly Vince Taylor (see July 15 entry), and lots of other originals of Clash covers.
:: Johnny 12:47 PM [+] ::
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Bush's Hit List. "...road map for the most comprehensive assault on environmental, public health and consumer protections ever announced by any administration.”
:: Johnny 5:09 PM [+] ::
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What Are Japan's Teens on About? Flogging Mickey Mouse, apparently...
:: Johnny 5:07 PM [+] ::
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Another Teacher in Space? Remember this one? The program has its own logo.
:: Johnny 3:02 AM [+] ::
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Victoria's Secret TV. People are getting their knickers in a twist.
:: Johnny 2:49 AM [+] ::
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Okay, I Can Smoke Another Cigarette, I Guess, While I Await the Suitcase Nuke in Times Square.
:: Johnny 2:36 AM [+] ::
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HAVE A COOL YULE EVERYBODY!!!
:: Johnny 3:02 PM [+] ::
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Bibleopoly. In Bibleopoly good deeds are always rewarded, but sometimes Faith cards intervene. The final object is to be the first player to build a church on one of the Bible cities. Will you be the new Paul? Play Bibleopoly with family or friends and find out!
:: Johnny 11:22 AM [+] ::
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African Village Attacked by Vampires.
:: Johnny 11:14 AM [+] ::
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Mystery Deer Found in Tree.
:: Johnny 11:12 AM [+] ::
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Cities Say No to Federal Snooping.
:: Johnny 11:05 AM [+] ::
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It’s Peasant Holiday Time! Peasants' recreation begins in Korea
Pyongyang, December 23 (KCNA) --The winter recreation of agricultural working people has begun in Korea. According to Hong Sung Dok, deputy director of the Bureau of Recreation of the Ministry of Labor, a large number of peasants are enjoying themselves at the expense of the state at recreation centers situated in nearly twenty scenic spots including Mt. Kobang, Sokam, Mt. Myohyang, Sokdamgugok and the Sokwangsa area.
During the 15-day holidays, they visit revolutionary sites and scenic spots, have art performances and enjoy folk plays, amusements, sports games, etc.
For the holidaymakers from different farms, the Kobangsan Recreation Centre organizes a visit to the Korean Revolution Museum and appreciation of art performances in theatres in Pyongyang and such amusements as yut and chess. They also hold an art performance themselves.
At the Sokam Recreation Centre, peasants in South Phyongan Province visit revolutionary sites and scenic spots, meet to exchange their experience in this year's farming and give impressions of books they read and play volleyball, basketball, table-tennis and sports events.
The period of the peasants' annual recreation is from early December to late February next year.

:: Johnny 11:04 AM [+] ::
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Strummer. A comment from a BBC message board: "What a shock - old punks never die they just stand at the back."
Andrew, UK
:: Johnny 4:11 PM [+] ::
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Spot the Error. "Strummer's death was a double blow for punk fans still mourning the fatal drug overdose in June of singer Dee Dee Ramone from legendary American band the Ramones."
:: Johnny 2:59 PM [+] ::
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Strummer.
Now I'm in the subway and I'm looking for the flat
This one leads to this block, this one leads to that
The wind howls through the empty blocks looking for a home
I run through the empty stone because I'm all alone
London's burning with boredom now
:: Johnny 2:08 PM [+] ::
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R.I.P. Joe Strummer. This just popped on Yahoo a couple of minutes ago. My favorite guy in one of my favorite, if not downright favorite, bands of all time. Shoot, I'm shocked. Joe was one of the cool and the crazy. And of course, I mentioned him in my music post from last night. And that post was followed by my "Quipu Body Count." I better shut up.... More later on Joe....
:: Johnny 11:22 AM [+] ::
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Quipu Body Count. In the past month or so:
I told you about the loony president of Turkmenistan. A day after posting, an assassination attempt was made on him.
I mentioned the electronic music group Stereolab. A week or so later, the singer was killed in a bicycle mishap.
I posted a link to this loony radical guy VOXFUX. A few days later, the Feds raided his apartment on Long Island.
I started wearing a cap with the Goya food company logo on it. A week later, one of the founding brothers of the company died. Big obit in the Times.
:: Johnny 2:01 AM [+] ::
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Brain Center For Music Appreciation Found. A quote from the article: " 'It's not necessary for human survival, yet something inside us craves it,' said Janata. 'I think this research helps us understand that craving a little bit more.'
I have always felt that one of the baffling things about being human and living on Earth is our affinity for music. It excites, it depresses, it exhilarates, it really hits a nerve--for better mostly. I have been thinking a lot about music over the past couple of months, what with the onset of my hijinksical karaoke "career." I have a vid of The Clash's Joe Strummer going into what appears to be a trance while performing "Safe European Home" live. Through the seemingly innocuous and silly bouts of karaoke singing, I have felt that same swell of emotion and otherworldliness that Joe exhibits when I really get into a song. From my energetic shout of "Let's rock again now!" during "Be-Bop-A-Lula" to my rendition of "When Tears Go By," I go to another galaxy. I had a big discussion about this with Kelly from Reno a couple of weeks ago. She said, "Music is weird." And then today, on TV I happened to catch the scene in "The Shawshank Redemption" where Andy plays an opera recording over the prison sound system and the prisoners seem to go all loopy in admiring the beauty of the piece.
Philip K. Dick had an unfinished novel in which the aliens come to Earth because we have music, and they think that Earth is heaven because we have music. Dick was big on music--he worked at record stores in San Francisco for years.
I have in hand, but haven't cracked yet, the great Paul Devereux's (I've seen him lecture twice) relatively new book "Stone Age Soundtracks." It's about the auditory aspects of ancient sites like Stonehenge and Chichen Itza. Think I'll go crack it now--and put on the headphones.

:: Johnny 1:50 AM [+] ::
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"1000 New York Buildings." "Kurt Vonnegut coined the phrase "Skyscraper National Park" to describe Manhattan."
:: Johnny 1:04 AM [+] ::
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The Essence of Jainism. These are the people who broomsweep ahead of them while they walk so they don't accidentally step on an insect. An admirable regard for life, I'd say.
:: Johnny 1:02 AM [+] ::
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Information Awareness Office. Learn all about the occult origins of the den of spies here. An excerpt: "The acronym formed by the Information Awareness Office -- I.A.O. -- is the very name of the Sun God, Bel, or Baal! Listen:

"In the pagan religion of Hinduism, we also see a 'trinity' of three gods -- Brahma, the creator; Vishnu, the preserver; and Shiva, the destroyer. (Freemason author) Waite explains: 'Siva [or Shiva] is the Babylonian Bel, identical with the Sun-God, I.A.O.' " ["Hidden Secrets of Masonry, by Dr. Cathy Burns, p. 29]

Therefore, the acronym formed by the name of this Bush Administration office is the old, pagan name for the Sun-God! Is it any wonder, then, that the Sun and its rays are so dramatically "out-raying" from this All-Seeing Eye of Lucifer on this I.A.O. symbol? You know, Illuminist John Poindexter could have come up with any name relating to the collection of information on American citizens; he did not need to come up with a name whose acronym equals the hidden, secret name of the Satanic god, Baal. God cursed Baal mightily in the Old Testament and brought Israel into destructive physical judgment. Baal is one of the primary gods of the Babylonian pantheon of gods; therefore, we see yet another instance in which America is revived Babylon."


:: Johnny 12:48 AM [+] ::
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VOXFUX Redux. I linked to this "radical" conspiracy site a few days ago. Since then, the guy's house has been raided, I think for threatening the president. He is supposedly on the lam. The VOXFUX guy--not the president.
:: Johnny 12:45 AM [+] ::
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Yahoo News has a banner ad running that states "News, almost before it happens." The blurb is causing lightning storms among my neurons and synapses as I try to figure out what it can possibly mean.
:: Johnny 12:19 AM [+] ::
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Science, Liberty and Peace. An essay by Aldus Huxley from the late '40s. A guy was reading it on WFMU, and it was on the money, I'd say. Couldn't find it on-line, but here's a good summary.
:: Johnny 11:25 PM [+] ::
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A Christmas Clone? It's interestting that the Globe & Mail chose to put this in the "Health" section.
:: Johnny 11:22 PM [+] ::
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Fantasy Drinking Tournament. Thanks, Modern Drunkard. The newsest bout pits Dylan Thomas againt Charles Bukowski. Jackie Gleason won last month.
:: Johnny 7:25 PM [+] ::
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This is Very Strange. They are stuffed animals. Not like toys, though. They used to be alive. Make sure you see the "Guinea Pigs' Cricket Match" and "The Rabbits Village School"--and, way down the page, behold the monkey riding the goat.
:: Johnny 7:18 PM [+] ::
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Spy Office Loses Creepy Logo. The Information Awareness Office home page no longer sports the scary eye-in-the-pyramid logo. Check out the group's projects here. You can see the logo here at this weird site.
:: Johnny 7:10 PM [+] ::
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Web Economy Bullshit Generator.

:: Johnny 2:26 PM [+] ::
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I Might Like You Better If We Slept Together.
:: Johnny 1:15 PM [+] ::
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The Humpty Dance. Whatever happened to that rapper dude with the nose thing going on, Humpty Hump? Find out here. And maybe he's involved in this.
:: Johnny 5:02 PM [+] ::
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Naked People From the Past. Wow, the big clock thing is Dali-esque, no?
:: Johnny 12:46 AM [+] ::
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Wrestler Shot Dead. Bojnourd, Khorassan prov, Dec 17, IRNA -- Iranian wrestler Ahmad Effat
was shot dead at his home's doorstep on Monday night, Bojnourd Justice
Department official Davood Asghari said on Tuesday.
Effati won a gold medal at Indian Championship last week and the
papers plastered on the walls of the city to hail the champion still
remain.
Investigations are underway to identify the culprit and possible
accomplice in the murder, Asghari said.
:: Johnny 5:22 PM [+] ::
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Bizarre Sun Gazer Baffles Indian Ophthalmologists.
:: Johnny 5:05 PM [+] ::
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My Favorite Bible Story. God sends two bears to eat 42 children for making fun of a dude's bald head. From 2 Kings 2:23-24. And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
2:24
And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
From the Skeptic's Annotated Bible.

:: Johnny 4:52 PM [+] ::
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Entombed Animals. "...I had set to break some very large and hard stones, in the middle of one we found a huge toad, full of life and without any visible aperture by which it could get there..."
:: Johnny 4:22 PM [+] ::
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Rasputin. Yesterday was the anniversary of his murder. Rasputin was no an easy man to kill. The nobles tried to poison him but cyanide had no effect. He narrowly avoided being run down by a wagon and avoided numerous other attempts on his life. When one of the nobles shot him, instead of falling down dead, he jumped to his feet and tried to kill his attacker. When he was shot a second time, still he refused to die. Finally he was captured, bound tightly in a fur robe and tossed, helpless, into the icy waters of the Neva River. Even then, it is said, when his body was recovered, he had three fingers raised and pressed against his chest in the sign of benediction.
:: Johnny 11:45 AM [+] ::
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The Weird World of Talking Boards. That's "Ouija," to you, bub.
:: Johnny 11:42 AM [+] ::
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The Colossus of Rhodes. I always dug this dude.
:: Johnny 11:40 AM [+] ::
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The Weird World of Dr. Hugo and synethesia. That would be the hearing of colors and the seeing of sounds--get my drift? Here's a site by a guy with the condition.
:: Johnny 11:35 AM [+] ::
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Straight Outta Pyongyang, Yo. The North Koreans are a defiant lot: "The DPRK remains unfazed as it has made full preparations to cope with the confrontation and clash with the Yankees. The army and people of the DPRK with burning hatred for the Yankees are in full readiness to fight a death-defying battle" and "the U.S. imperialists will get nothing but a bitter defeat and death in the confrontation with the DPRK."
Read all the grammatical glory here.
:: Johnny 10:16 AM [+] ::
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Binary Spam. Enrage your friends.
:: Johnny 10:05 AM [+] ::
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Shoot, one more thing to worry about.
:: Johnny 5:00 PM [+] ::
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VOXFUX. Wow, this is one far gone site. 9/11 conspiracies galore.
:: Johnny 4:56 PM [+] ::
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Padre Pio. A strange, talented man, indeed. My high school Spanish teacher ran off to the monastery in Italy to join the Padre's order, but they wouldn't have him...probably with good reason. This teacher once claimed that Padre Pio was practicing his miraculous power of bilocation and was in our classroom. He knew this because he could smell the "celestial fragrance" that Padre Pio gives off when he bilocates.
:: Johnny 4:55 PM [+] ::
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Treesit Blog. This blog is by "Remedy an activist who has been sitting 150 feet up an ancient Redwood in Freshwater, California. She has been in her tree Jerry for over 8 months as part of a community's protest to save their forests and watershed. She uses Debian GNU/Linux on her laptop and a 5 mile 802.11b wireless link to get online."
I came across that blog then remembered that another treesitter had fallen out the tree earlier this year--From the Portland IMC open publishing newswire:
Ramsey Gulch Treesitter Dies in Fall.
"Robin (last name unknown), called in the woods by the name Naya, had just arrived in Santa Cruz from Arcata, CA where he may have been involved with direct action in the Mattole area of Humboldt county. He was eager to go to the forest and defend against logging that would harm Steelhead Trout at the southern end of the coastal redwood forests. He was found Tuesday night by employees of Redwood Empire at the base of "Esparanza," the tree he had been sitting in for about 12 hours. He was taken by helicopter to Valley Medical Center in San Jose where he died on Wed. October 9, 2002. He would have been 22 years old on Thursday, October 10, 2002. While he enjoyed rock-climbing, this was Naya's first treesit."
Should have stuck to the rocks, I guess.

:: Johnny 4:49 PM [+] ::
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The Word Spy. New words, jargon-watch etc. "Ignoranus: Someone who is stupid AND an asshole."
:: Johnny 5:21 PM [+] ::
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The Art of Vocal Percussion. Learn how to be a Human Beatbox.
:: Johnny 4:34 PM [+] ::
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Speech Reversals Suggest Bush Lusts For Power, Control. Speech reversals, my eye. Here's the home page of the reverse speech guy.
:: Johnny 1:04 PM [+] ::
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Restrooms of the Future. Hey gals, learn to pee while standing up.
:: Johnny 1:02 PM [+] ::
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Facial Hair. Learn all about it.
:: Johnny 1:01 PM [+] ::
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What's New in the Axis of Evil? From the Korean Central News Agency of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea:
Small Electromagnetic Rock-Drill
Pyongyang, December 12 (KCNA) -- Kim Chaek University of Technology in the Democratic People's Republic of Korea has developed a small electromagnetic rock-drill. It can be used widely in excavation and construction. It drills rocks by turning electric energy into striking energy and rotary energy of chisel.
The light and simple tool is very efficient.
It strikes rocks 1,800 times per minute and the chisel rotates 100 times per minute.
The drill, with less noise, is convenient for use in any place and has no harmful effects on environment.

Be sure to check out the blistering anti-American sentiment in the other stories. Great Communistic broadsiding English is in use...:
"The U.S. is misleading public opinion, claiming that the U.S. took this measure because the DPRK "admitted its nuclear development program", thus being the first to violate the AF. But this is a foolish attempt.
The U.S. already listed the DPRK as part of an "axis of evil" and a target of preemptive nuclear attack. It, therefore, cannot flee from the responsibility for its flagrant violation of the spirit and articles of the AF."
:: Johnny 12:57 PM [+] ::
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Popular Songs With a Native American Theme. "Kaw-Liga" by Hank Williams is one of the sickest songs I've ever heard.
Ralph Jerome- Indian Rock & Roll
The Scarlets- Indian Fever
Art Adams- Indian Joe
Maddox Brothers & Rose- Cherokee Maiden
Tommy Holmes- Wa Chic Ka Noka
Marvin Rainwater- Indian Burial Ground
Gordon Wayne- Red Wing
Homer & Jethro- Little Arrows
Marvin Rainwater- The Pale Faced Indian (Lament of the Cherokee Nation)
Arnold Bennet- Wahoo
Hank Williams- Cherokee Boogie
The Kellwoods- Indian Squaw
Loretta Lynn- Your Squaw is on the Warpath
Beach Boys- 10 Little Indians
Don Willis- Warrior Sam
Frank Cathy- Witchapoo
Hasil Adkins- Do the Scalp
Tommy Downs- Big Indian
Billy Lee Riley- Chief Sitting Bull
Larry Verne- Mr. Custer
Chris Horner- Little Bull & Buttercup
Johnny Preston- Chief Heartbreak
Jackie & the Cedrics- Scalping Party
Elvis Presley- Flaming Star
Roy Orbison- Indian Wedding
Hank Thompson- Squaws Along the Yukon
Musical Linn Twins- Indian Rock
The Shadows- Apache
Hank Williams- Kawliga
Bob Landis with Willie Joe & his Unitar- Cherokee Dance
Billy & the Moonlighters- Little Indian Girl
The Impacts- Bobby Sox Squaw
Johnny Preston- Running Bear

:: Johnny 12:47 PM [+] ::
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Videos. Fine, fine viewing. (Thanks Jack.)
:: Johnny 12:40 PM [+] ::
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Bus Plunge! Your guide to deadly Third-World roadway mishaps. I wish I had clipped every tiny little bus plunge story from newspapers since i first noticed them when I was a kid. I would have quite a scrapbook by now. Here's what seems to be the same site, but it's kind of different.
:: Johnny 12:18 PM [+] ::
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Silly Rockabilly Lyrics. Haven't posted any in a while...
JUNGLE ROCK
(H. Mizell - J. Bobo - B. Collins - R. Simonton)
HANK MIZELL (EKO 506, 1958 - KING 5236, 1959)

I was walkin' through the jungle just the other night
Well, I heard a big rumble and I thought it was a fight
We were lost and we listened and began to move my feet
It was a jungle drum a-doin' a knock-out beat

[Chorus]
It was a jungle-jungle-jungle-jungle rock
A jungle-jungle-jungle-jungle rock
A jungle-jungle-jungle-jungle rock
A jungle-jungle-jungle-jungle rock
A knock-out beat and I had to move my feet
It was a jungle-jungle-jungle-jungle rock

Well, I moved a little closer just to get a better view
I saw a chimp and a monkey a-doin' the Suzie Q
Well, a gator and a hippo was doin' the bop
While a great big falcon was a makin' me hop

Well the fox grabbed the rabbit and did the bunny-hop
And all the fish stepped by and was a-cuttin' the rug
Well, a camel was a jitterbuggin' with a kangaroo
And the elephant was movin' with a ring-dang-doo


:: Johnny 5:43 PM [+] ::
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Neanderthals' Strong-Arm Tactics Revealed. Look at that caveman go....

:: Johnny 5:25 PM [+] ::
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Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulu R'lyeh wagh'nagl fhtagn. Or, "In his house in R'lyeh dead Cthulhu lies dreaming" - H.P. Lovecraft.
:: Johnny 5:22 PM [+] ::
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Skin.
:: Johnny 5:05 PM [+] ::
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Stereolab Singer Dies In Bike Accident. I mentioned this electronica group last week. What's going on? A couple of weeks ago I posted something about the president of Turkmenistan andd the next day someone tried to murderlize him.
:: Johnny 4:03 PM [+] ::
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Sociopath or Passive Serial Killer? You decide! "He has no trouble speaking off the cuff when he's speaking punitively, when he's talking about violence, when he's talking about revenge," Miller told Whyte. "When he struts and thumps his chest, his syntax and grammar are fine. It's only when he leaps into the wild blue yonder of compassion, or idealism, or altruism, that he makes these hilarious mistakes.""
:: Johnny 3:55 PM [+] ::
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Contact Button Working. Wow, I'm slowly but surely upgrading things around here. Click the "Contact" button above and send me lots of mail. And watch for "recommendations" coming up soon in the left hand column.
:: Johnny 2:44 PM [+] ::
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The New York City Anti-Hipster Forum. Guess I better lose the goatee and black clothing...


:: Johnny 2:34 PM [+] ::
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A Child-Sized Walking Robot. Thanks to the fine folks at Honda. Whenever I hear about robots, I think of what Philp K. Dick said: "The only reason to make robots look lifelike is to fool people." I wonder if Honda is working on the Nexus-6? Hello, Roy Batty....
:: Johnny 5:19 PM [+] ::
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Mount Qomolangma. "China said last month westerners should call the 8848-metre mountain on the border of Nepal and Tibet Mt Qomolangma after the "ignorance and arrogance" of British colonialism continued to refer to it as Everest."


:: Johnny 4:19 PM [+] ::
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Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics. I always cringe when a spaceship makes noise (usually a low, rumbling sound) in the vast vacuum of intergalactic space.
:: Johnny 4:00 PM [+] ::
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NYC Transit Strike. It just might happen this coming Sunday/Monday. I wish I lived in St. George again, and not a 15-minute bus ride from ferry. I wonder if a new fashion trend will come out of this strike--in 1980, the wearing of sneakers with business suits came into vogue.
:: Johnny 3:07 PM [+] ::
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The Naghol. I saw films of South Sea islanders doing this when I was a kid. Maybe an influence on my life-long fascination with "primitive" tribes?
:: Johnny 2:41 PM [+] ::
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Bones at Miami Circle Suggest Beheading Rite.
:: Johnny 2:25 PM [+] ::
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Little Annie Anxiety Bandez.
LITTLE ANNIE & FRIENDS
CHRISTMAS 2002
Directed by KEITH MCDERMOTT
Musical director PAUL WALLFISCH
with special guests Bill Rice, Kid Congo Powers, Joe Budenholzer,
Christine Donnelly, Nicky Paraiso
DECEMBER 19TH THRU 29TH
thursday 19th, Friday 20th, Saturday 21st, at 10pm
Sunday 22nd 5.30pm
Thursday 26th thru Sunday the 29th all shows 8pm
admission $15/ $12 members
at
THE CLUB AT La MaMa
74a East 4th Street /between Bowery & 2nd Ave.
info/box office 212-475-7710

Annie and her guests will be performing a mixture of carols, torch, and
pieces from her forthcoming album peppered by musings, monologues, and seasonal science anecdotes.
The online gallery at www.brainwashed.com/anxiety
has now been updated. Titles no longer available are
IMAGE 1, IMAGE 2, IMAGE 3, IMAGE 4, IMAGE 5, IMAGE 6,
‘CHRIST SPOTTED IN CHINATOWN MARKET’
‘WORDLESS’
‘NYC 1’
,WORDS MAY KILL’

:: Johnny 10:40 AM [+] ::
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World Trade Center Proposals. CNN invited everyone to send in their ideas and drawings about what should be done at the site. Some of them are totally nuts, like this one portraying Jesus wrapped in an American flag.
Another entry states "The towers are rebuilt in the form of 911. The nine and the last one have angel wings at the side. In between the 911 are two poles with a halo on the top of each one. The center one has a heart on its antenna, with sparkles reflecting from it. In the front of the towers, on the ground, the landscape is drawn in the form of a cloud with the words inscribed, 'God Bless.'"
There are some cool ones, of course, but some are way out there. Check them all.

:: Johnny 6:03 PM [+] ::
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The Turkish Wizard of Oz. "The Turkish Wizard of Oz" is, without debate, the single stupidest production in the history of motion pictures...and also the most entertaining."
:: Johnny 5:49 PM [+] ::
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Turkish Star Trek. "The Turkish Enterprise’s dress code has got to cause problems. The female personnel are forced to wear miniskirts that end four inches above the bottom of their asses, and when they turn around to work on the spray-painted cardboard computers, they have no secrets."
:: Johnny 5:43 PM [+] ::
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President Moron.Com. Another anti-Dubya site. I think the lefties are having more fun with Bush than Limbaugh and his ilk had with Clinton for eight years.
:: Johnny 5:05 PM [+] ::
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Himalaya. I rented this over the weekend. First time I ever saw a movie in Tibetan with English subtitles. Beautiful film. Filmed over seven months in the forbidding Dolpo region of Nepal, Himalaya tells the story of a generational struggle for the leadership of a tiny mountain village between its proud old chief and a headstrong young caravanner. The balance of power shifts uneasily as they make their annual salt trek across the Himalayas. A visually striking and spiritually captivating portrait of life in one of the world's most extraordinary places, Himalaya is both intense drama and a gorgeous tapestry of the fast disappearing traditions of Tibetan life.
:: Johnny 4:06 PM [+] ::
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The World Music Institute. Buy music, get tickets to concerts.
:: Johnny 3:58 PM [+] ::
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Soundtrack to My Late Monday/Early Tuesday Reading.
Music of Indonesia, Vol. 4: Music of Nias & North Sumatra Not as deep sounding as the Balinese.
Master Musicians of Jojouka. The mind-bending and trance-inducing music from Morocco. Paul Bowles, William Burroughs, and Brian Jones of the Rolling Stones were big fans. Bowles said, "The most important single element of Morocco's folk culture is its music ... the entire history and mythology of the people is clothed in song." But that's a lot of cultures, I would say.
Voices of Forgotten Worlds. I listened to one side of this two-cassette/book set. Heard some Tuvan throat singing, the aboriginal Ainu from northern Japan, and some Sammi (that's the politically correct name for Laplanders.)
What was I reading? Red Earth, White Lies: Native Americans and the Myth of Scientific Fact. The author is big on The Bering Strait Land Bridge Hoax.
:: Johnny 3:52 PM [+] ::
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"They Can't Stop Islam!" An mp3 from Islamic rappers the Soldiers of Allah. Here's the group's homepage.
:: Johnny 3:31 PM [+] ::
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Shopping in Rome. And you thought New Yorkers were rude....
:: Johnny 3:28 PM [+] ::
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Tokyo DV. Japanese pop culture stuff, including some tentacle sex.
:: Johnny 3:27 PM [+] ::
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The Pride of Pakistan.
:: Johnny 3:25 PM [+] ::
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SlangCity. All about slang. Really dopey lookin' site, though.
:: Johnny 3:16 PM [+] ::
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The Santorini Caldera. Live Web cam. It's dark there right now. The lights at center right is the village of Oia (i think that's the spelling), a cool place to watch the sun set.
:: Johnny 4:27 PM [+] ::
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Vegetable Soup. I had it for lunch--a rich, thick, delicious and "large" portion from the Million Gourmet Deli on Pearl Street. Not the Million Dollar Gourmet Deli--just the Million Gourmet Deli. It's up the block from what used to be the Happy Grocery Farm, which now has some pedestrian name like Gourmet Cafe.
:: Johnny 3:17 PM [+] ::
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Little Richard. He turned 70 yesterday. Is he the true King of Rock 'n' Roll as he claims, or is he just a "diminutive South Sea islander," as he was described in the New York Times review of the 1950s film, "The Girl Can't Help It"?
:: Johnny 2:49 PM [+] ::
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Esquerita! This guy is the wildest of the Little Richard imitators. Interesting cat. "The farthest out that man has ever gone!"
:: Johnny 2:49 PM [+] ::
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Behold the Paintings of Isabel Samaras. Your favorite TV characters as you've never seen them before. Gomez and Morticia, Kirk and Spock, The Skipper and Gilligan, Mary Anne and Ginger. (prob not work-safe)
:: Johnny 2:31 PM [+] ::
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Morbid Curiosity Magazine. "The learned person's approach to all things dark and lovely." Just got the latest annual issue over at Universal News on Broad Street. Published in the spring of 2002, the latest issue includes articles about hallucinating naturally, Anarchists in Paris, hunting ghosts, occult shops, police brutality, racoon invasions, suicidal thoughts, medical experiments...and much more!
:: Johnny 2:28 PM [+] ::
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Ship of Fools. Fun recreational religion site. Be sure to check out the Gadgets for God. (Thanks Francie.)
:: Johnny 2:25 PM [+] ::
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The Asian Prince. Falls under the category of Internet Romeos, I think. Not sure if it's real or a put-on. (Thanks, Hans.)
:: Johnny 2:24 PM [+] ::
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The John Poindexter Awareness Office.
:: Johnny 2:21 PM [+] ::
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Police State in Action. I take pics of buildings in lower Manhattan all the time.
:: Johnny 2:21 PM [+] ::
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View From Tokyo Tower. Is Godzilla coming? How many times did that monster and his monster buddies knock this tower down in all those Toho productions?
:: Johnny 3:42 PM [+] ::
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Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
:: Johnny 3:36 PM [+] ::
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The Afterlife Telegram. I bet Houdini wishes he had this...
:: Johnny 3:32 PM [+] ::
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Bonehead Maneuver. What with cigarette prices what they are in NYC thanks to Mayor Mike, I spotted a Camel Turkish Blend "two-fer-one" special up at Duane Reade. Got back to to the office and discovered, yes, indeed, they were Turkish Blend, but they were goddamn menthols--the "Turkish Jade Mellow Menthol Blend". Do I have the wherewithal to go up there again in the cold and exchange them? Hell, no. I'm gonna smoke 'em. (This last link--"smoke"--prob not safe for work.)
:: Johnny 3:23 PM [+] ::
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Man Found Dead 44 Years After 'Trip to U.S.'
MILAN (Reuters) - An Italian man who packed his bags 44 years ago and told friends he was leaving for America was found dead inside one of the walls of his home.
An American woman who recently bought the house near Lucca in northern Tuscany discovered the body Tuesday as she was carrying out renovations, police said.
Inside a thick wall in the cellar the woman found human remains, two packed suitcases, a trowel and other equipment to make a wall, a rusted rifle and a bottle with a suicide note.
The note, on paper headed with the name Nemo Cianelli, explained that the man had discovered he had an incurable disease and had decided to kill himself. He said he had invented the tale of going to America to avoid upsetting his family.
Local newspapers reported in 1958 that Cianelli was missing, and speculated that he might have gone to America, but after a period of rumor and mystery, the story was forgotten.
Police said it appeared Cianelli had packed his suitcases, written the suicide note, built a wall up around himself and then shot himself.
(Thanks Amanda!)
:: Johnny 2:11 PM [+] ::
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Jacko Versus The Spiders. My God what will he think of next. Also, F. from the Bay Area tells me that "I also heard his "real" voice on taped footage from his court appearance. According to Liza Minelli's "husband," Michael Jackson's quiet whispery voice is all a ruse. And it may be so; when asked what he thought about Gloria Allred's possible child abuse/baby dangling accusations, he said (in a scary real man voice) "She can go to hell." I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't heard it with my own 2 ears."
:: Johnny 1:07 PM [+] ::
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Total Information Awareness. I'm sorry to keep harping on this, but I think it's important. There's a great article in this week's New Yorker mag about how Philip K. Dickian all this is. I couldn't agree more. As the writer of the article says, there must be someone joking around to pull that all-seeing eye pyramid logo crap on us. Also, I'm swiping this article below by James W. Harris of the Advocates for Self Government, a libertarian outfit.

Federal Computer Database to Spy on All Americans
by James W. Harris
Alarming new federal government plans for spying on all Americans are straight out of George Orwell's 1984.
The feds are busily creating a massive database that will create files on virtually every American from cradle to grave. The Pentagon's creepy new Office of Information Awareness is building a system called "Total Information Awareness." Total Information Awareness will, among other things, monitor virtually very purchase and financial transaction made by American citizens to seek "patterns indicative of terrorist activity." This consumer information will be urged with government database information including visa records, passports, arrest records or reports of "suspicious activity" previously given to law enforcement agencies. The program will also pursue development of biometric technology to enable the further identification and tracking of individuals.
According to federal spokesmen, such things as large cash withdrawals, or the purchase of one-way airline tickets or firearms, could trigger investigations via the Total Information Awareness database. The database will know your reading habits, phone and Internet use (thus creating a First Amendment chilling effect), know when you buy a gun (thus creating de facto national gun registration), and so on. No warrant, no suspicion of criminal activity is required for this information-gathering.
According to the ACLU, Total Information Awareness will "effectively provide government officials with immediate access to our personal information: all of our communications (phone calls, emails and web searches), financial records, purchases, prescriptions, school records, medical records and travel history....Under this program, our entire lives would be catalogued and available to government officials."
The Office of Information Awareness's unbelievable logo seems to flaunt the Orwellian nature of the agency: a huge eye atop a pyramid scanning the globe, with the Latin motto "Knowledge is Power."
See it for yourself at:
http://www.reason.com/0210/artifact.shtml
As Reason Magazine noted: "If you wanted to play on the fears of every paranoiac in the country, you couldn't do much better than the Office of Information Awareness's logo." Of course, given the unprecedented nature of the Total Information Awareness program, it's hardly paranoid to be alarmed by this sinister agency. If that wasn't enough to set you shivering, the Total Information Awareness program was conceived by, and is headed by, the notorious John Poindexter, the former national security adviser to President Reagan who was convicted on five counts of misleading Congress and making false statements during the Iran-Contra investigation.
"John has a real passion for this project," one government official told Fox News. (Why aren't we surprised?)
Total Information Awareness is a police-state measure, pure and simple. It violates the spirit, if not the letter, of the Constitution and Bill of Rights, and it will mean a society in which federal agents are constantly monitoring every move of every citizen.
The government -- of course -- defends Total Information Awareness as a necessary tool to fight terrorism. British statesman William Pitt (1759-1806) had the proper response to that:
"Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves."
Increasingly it seems the biggest threat to American liberties isn't from terrorists, but rather from government officials intent on doing to our Constitutional liberties what the 9-11 terrorists did to the World Trade Center.
(Sources: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,70992,00.html
http://www.aclu.org/Privacy/Privacy.cfm?ID=11323&c=130
http://www.epic.org/privacy/profiling/tia/#resources

http://www.cato.org/research/articles/pena-021122.html )

:: Johnny 1:01 PM [+] ::
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The Rosetta Project. The Rosetta Project is a global collaboration of language specialists and native speakers working to develop a contemporary version of the historic Rosetta Stone. In this updated iteration, our goal is a meaningful survey and near permanent archive of 1,000 languages. Our intention is to create a unique platform for comparative linguistic research and education as well as a functional linguistic tool that might help in the recovery or revitalization of lost languages in unknown futures.
:: Johnny 5:49 PM [+] ::
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Behold! The Tubes on Mars! Also be sure to behold the "Densely Packed Life Evidence." (link via Aberrant News)
:: Johnny 5:44 PM [+] ::
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R.I.P. Midnight Oil. The Aussie rockers with a progressive message are no more...
:: Johnny 5:26 PM [+] ::
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Birdman of Water Street Braves the Cold. I dunno, i'm a man, I can take it, but shoot that don't mean I have to like it. I get up this morning, turn on the TV news and see it's 19 friggin' degrees outside. Do I really have to go dig out one of my cool lookin' sweaters and the red plaid scarf from some dark corner of the closet? Yes. The winds down here on Water Street whip. I went out for a cig break--I looked like Amundsen camping out on the ice shelf. Who comes along through the Vietnam Veterans Plaza but The Birdman of Water Street, pulling along his black case on wheels, making his trademark bird calls. He favored tropical bird sounds today. He was bundled up too. That cat is whack, I tells ya...
:: Johnny 2:21 PM [+] ::
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Christmas Parties Will See Britons Behaving Badly. Embarassing behavior, from vomiting to snogging.


:: Johnny 12:21 PM [+] ::
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The Solutrean Hypothesis. Who were the Solutreans?, you ask. Maybe the egghed scientists will find a solution to this mystery.
:: Johnny 12:19 PM [+] ::
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Global Cosmic Catastrophes. Catastrophism, archaeoastronomy, ancient history, mythology and astronomy.
:: Johnny 12:17 PM [+] ::
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Life During Wartime. Some dumbass maybe-terrorist thought Bill Gates works at IBM...and Midtown Manhattan panics.
:: Johnny 12:16 PM [+] ::
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Student Movement Coordination Committee For Democracy in Iran. The SMCCDI basically wants to separate church and state. Get your democracy on...
"Honorable and Freedom-loving people of Iran,
Day by day, the military and political crisis in the region of the Persian Gulf and the Middle East is getting deeper. In the region, every government and political force that is realistic and intellectual is looking for a logical solution to avoid a military clash; which, have become the forecast for the region due to the lunatic policies of the pro-war forces, the defendants of terrorism- be they overt or covert- and the producers of weapons of mass destruction. Under such circumstances, the usurpants of political power in Iran- that from the very beginning had based the establishment and solidifying of their inhumane order upon systematic government-sponsored terrorism against their own people- are attempting to shamelessly support the pro-war factions and the Palestinian terrorist groups through the forced gathering of government employees and Hezbollah thugs."

:: Johnny 12:15 PM [+] ::
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Palestinian Humor. Via the Electronic Intifida.
:: Johnny 12:12 PM [+] ::
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Art from the Himalayas.
:: Johnny 5:50 PM [+] ::
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Catch Jacko's Baby. I dunno, I'm still fascinated--and disgusted--by that episode. Help the kid in this fun game. Also, Jacko should check this article out. Some guy on FARK.com I think it was said the only reason The King of Baby Danglers was having children was to use them as face farms for future transplants when his own falls off for good. And, as Candice of Aberrant News said to me, "I still don't know how he could hold the baby over the balcony like that. What if he tripped or fainted or his face suddenly fell off?"

:: Johnny 5:29 PM [+] ::
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Attention All Homelanders. The seal for the new department has been revealed. Check it out here.
:: Johnny 5:12 PM [+] ::
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Get Your War On. There's a new set of comics, published just last week. "When John Ashcroft is reviewing your credit card purchases, does he give you Triple Bonus Miles for buying a Bible?"
:: Johnny 5:10 PM [+] ::
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The Results Are In! To determine if the "terror master" is "alive" or "dead", I "conducted" a "poll" of the "Internet". There are 4,690 Web matches for the phrase "Bin Laden is dead," while "Bin Laden is alive" garnered 9,240 matches. According to Debkafile, he's currently hiding in the Empty Quarter desert of the Arabian Peninsula.
:: Johnny 2:09 PM [+] ::
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Can George W. Bush Be Charged With Plagiarism? I think I linked to this before, but came across it again today. I just finished reading Orwell's book.
:: Johnny 12:46 PM [+] ::
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New England Aquarium. One of the highlights of weekend trip to Boston. A first-rate operation. When I see bizarre sea creatures, I can only think of what an insane deity the Creator was.
:: Johnny 12:30 PM [+] ::
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Soundtrack to My Late Sunday/Early Monday Reading.
Maximum Electronica Vol. 1 (early Moby, Stereolab, Bjork (?), etc.; here's an electronica primer).
Inside Afghanistan: The Living Tradition (lots of percussion; recordings from 1955 and 1970; http://www.afghanistans.com/Information/People/Music.htm).
B.A.N.G. by Bay Area New Gamelan. (white people trying to play the mind-bending traditional music of Bali and Indonesia).
Satyricon by Meatbeat Manifesto
What was I reading? 1984 by George Orwell. Finished it. I love Big Brother.

:: Johnny 12:12 PM [+] ::
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