:: Quipu ::

:: Saturday, December 28, 2002 ::

Yule Log Broadcast Burns Up Big Apple Ratings.
:: Johnny 7:47 PM [+] ::
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Karaoke. Tonight, I totally screwed up the Who's version of Eddie Cochran's "Summertime Blues," did a masterful job of "Be-Bop-A-Lula" by Gene Vincent and His Blue Caps, and, after struggling with it for a couple of weeks, finally did a decent performance of Nick Lowe's/Dave Edmunds' "I Knew the Bride (When She Used to Rock and Roll)". In the latter, I altered the lyrics a bit--I substituted "West Brighton boys" for "street-corner boys". The Staten Islanders who recognized the neighborhood reference cheered. I'm having a great time edju-macating the kids about the punk rock of the 1950s.
:: Johnny 4:55 AM [+] ::
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Third World Sex. I thought this might be a put-on, but no. Dr Karamaj will answer your questions of a "private" matter. Here's a sample:
Name: sam, Age: 21, Gender: M, Place:
Question: 5
I have one ball. There is any problem in sex in future life ?
Answer
No.
No nonsense guy. One chap describes his erectional dysfunction, only to have the doc tell him, "Consult your sexologist." Thanks, doc. Here's the home page, in case you need/want/crave a Hindu mate. Oh, and if you need to contact Dr. Karamaj, here's the pertinent info:
Contact Dr. Kamaraj at:
Aadhav Sexual Medicine and Marietal Therapy CENTRE
No 133, Kamakody Street, 64, Lake View Road,
West Mambalam,
Chennai - 600 033.
PH: 474 5599, 474 2727, 4897098
Don't forget--"CENTRE" is in all caps.


:: Johnny 4:33 AM [+] ::
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Savages on Blondes. One of my far-flung (female) correspondents sent me this link. It's pornographic. It's racist. It's mysoginistic. It has great blurbs. Beware.
:: Johnny 3:55 AM [+] ::
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No Elvis, Beatles or the Rolling Stones. No more Joe, either. Here's his BBC obit. I've been writing in my mind the past few days what that guy meant to me. As I've said to my friends, I now know what Beatles fans felt when their guy was gunned down. Shit, Strummer was only a rock star, but hundreds of heartfelt words about him and the connection I felt with him are headed your way, direct from my bleedin' brain. Hopefully Saturday night, before I go away on vacation.
:: Johnny 3:38 AM [+] ::
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The Unofficial Daljit Dhaliwal Appreciation Page. I used to watch her on ITN World News with my ex. I told her I wanted to date Daljit. We're now divorced...go figure..
From the site's guestbook: "a very merry christmas to a fine,intelletual lady.daljit dhaliwal you are a superb talent who is not to be outdone. the quality of your news reporting and your enunciation,your resonance, your timing, your immaculate appearance, classy dressing in clothing,topped off by a sense of style that is so indescribably great. so many of us appreciate you in so many ways. love, clark." And, another one: "i wanna stuff a hamburger in her mouth while storming her southern beach. shes always there for me. she never says no. she likes white guys. shes prolly a @#%$! on wheels. i love her."
:: Johnny 4:08 PM [+] ::
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Those Chechens Are At It Again. Suicide blasts kill 46.
:: Johnny 3:57 PM [+] ::
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This Is What Francie Got For Xmas.
:: Johnny 3:46 PM [+] ::
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Another Walken Interview. This one's about food and cooking, mostly. Again, hear his voice as you read his words. (Thanks, Jack).
:: Johnny 2:30 PM [+] ::
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Gangs of New York. We get a review of same from Womack: "Saw Gangs of NY last night. A mess, but an awesome mess. Daniel Day-Lewis at times seems to be speaking, using your voice. He's completely fabulous. It's all remarkably violent, but in the best possible ways. Like a very goofy opera. It's far from perfect but don't miss it."

:: Johnny 2:23 PM [+] ::
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Letter From Rombi.
Dear John,
My heartfelt condolences on the death of your favorite musician. I guess now it's safe for me to become a Clash lover.
Anyway, last Wednesday those two guys, the fat guy and the evil clown-faced kid, were playing cards? The skies were angry that night my friend, and the rain pelted the rooftops with a fury the like of which we may never see again. Well, the clown face kid asked me, "Where you work again--NBC?"
"No, ABC," I replied demurely. I've spoken to this guy before and he is a dimwit. His hulkish buddy, who by the way was pasting him at the card game, says to me, "Oh yeah," how d'y like it?"
"Well I been workin' there fer 20 years, so I'm a little sick of it but I gotsta admit's a good job for a bum like me." "Soun's innarestin'," says the fat guy. "Yeah, it's not so bad," I continued—
"Don't you ever shut up?" the clown faced kid suddenly blurts out.
" I'll shut up," says I, "long enough to smash your head in."and then I left off.
Later, the kid buys me a shot and I did the same in kind. I went over to thank him, and he says" "Git away from me you f***ing faggot."
"F**k you, junior, "I'll tear yer f**king head off." I replied.
"That's not gonna happen."
So then I'm leaving and he tosses off another slur. I got mad. Not so much at the crude remarks but at the fact that he was deliberately trying to ruin my evening and why? I figger he was steamed at losing in cards and jealous that I have a decent career while he has to scrape bubble gum off windowpanes or whatever he does. He's very young and I shouldn't have let him get t' me but I would like to have made peace.
I was standing outside trying to decide whether or not to go to Danny O's or get a slice of pizza when he and his fat friend came out. The kid faced off with me and I asked him, "Why did you have to ruin everything--your friend asked me a question and you f***ing tell me to shut up? F**k You! You faggot little asshole!" To which he clumsily swung and jumped at me and (since I had my hands in my pockets) I couldn't do anything but slide off the curb and my foot got crunched betwixt the slippery curb and a car tire. Brian called a cab and I went to St. Vincent's where they had to operate the next night. I got nine screws and a plate in my ankle and won't be ale to walk for five more weeks. I guess I showed that evil clown-faced kid.
Next I'll tell you about the nightmare roommate I had at the hospital.
Happy New Yeah'

:: Johnny 2:16 PM [+] ::
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Joe Rombi....has broken his ankle and can't walk for five weeks. He's holed up at parents' house. Click "contact" above and I will forward your words of encouragement and good cheer.
:: Johnny 1:15 PM [+] ::
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Dumbasses. This is a site for people who have fallen victim to various Nigerian con jobs.
:: Johnny 12:52 PM [+] ::
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It's a Girl! The Raelian UFO cult clone baby is born.
:: Johnny 12:50 PM [+] ::
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Walken. Here's an interview with the slightly "off" actor. As you read his words, imagine you are hearing them in his voice.
:: Johnny 12:49 PM [+] ::
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Joe Strummer. Hear him guest-DJ on WFMU here. Includes the original of "Brand New Cadillac" by English rockabilly Vince Taylor (see July 15 entry), and lots of other originals of Clash covers.
:: Johnny 12:47 PM [+] ::
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Bush's Hit List. "...road map for the most comprehensive assault on environmental, public health and consumer protections ever announced by any administration.”
:: Johnny 5:09 PM [+] ::
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What Are Japan's Teens on About? Flogging Mickey Mouse, apparently...
:: Johnny 5:07 PM [+] ::
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Another Teacher in Space? Remember this one? The program has its own logo.
:: Johnny 3:02 AM [+] ::
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Victoria's Secret TV. People are getting their knickers in a twist.
:: Johnny 2:49 AM [+] ::
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Okay, I Can Smoke Another Cigarette, I Guess, While I Await the Suitcase Nuke in Times Square.
:: Johnny 2:36 AM [+] ::
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HAVE A COOL YULE EVERYBODY!!!
:: Johnny 3:02 PM [+] ::
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Bibleopoly. In Bibleopoly good deeds are always rewarded, but sometimes Faith cards intervene. The final object is to be the first player to build a church on one of the Bible cities. Will you be the new Paul? Play Bibleopoly with family or friends and find out!
:: Johnny 11:22 AM [+] ::
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African Village Attacked by Vampires.
:: Johnny 11:14 AM [+] ::
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Mystery Deer Found in Tree.
:: Johnny 11:12 AM [+] ::
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Cities Say No to Federal Snooping.
:: Johnny 11:05 AM [+] ::
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It’s Peasant Holiday Time! Peasants' recreation begins in Korea
Pyongyang, December 23 (KCNA) --The winter recreation of agricultural working people has begun in Korea. According to Hong Sung Dok, deputy director of the Bureau of Recreation of the Ministry of Labor, a large number of peasants are enjoying themselves at the expense of the state at recreation centers situated in nearly twenty scenic spots including Mt. Kobang, Sokam, Mt. Myohyang, Sokdamgugok and the Sokwangsa area.
During the 15-day holidays, they visit revolutionary sites and scenic spots, have art performances and enjoy folk plays, amusements, sports games, etc.
For the holidaymakers from different farms, the Kobangsan Recreation Centre organizes a visit to the Korean Revolution Museum and appreciation of art performances in theatres in Pyongyang and such amusements as yut and chess. They also hold an art performance themselves.
At the Sokam Recreation Centre, peasants in South Phyongan Province visit revolutionary sites and scenic spots, meet to exchange their experience in this year's farming and give impressions of books they read and play volleyball, basketball, table-tennis and sports events.
The period of the peasants' annual recreation is from early December to late February next year.

:: Johnny 11:04 AM [+] ::
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Strummer. A comment from a BBC message board: "What a shock - old punks never die they just stand at the back."
Andrew, UK
:: Johnny 4:11 PM [+] ::
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Spot the Error. "Strummer's death was a double blow for punk fans still mourning the fatal drug overdose in June of singer Dee Dee Ramone from legendary American band the Ramones."
:: Johnny 2:59 PM [+] ::
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Strummer.
Now I'm in the subway and I'm looking for the flat
This one leads to this block, this one leads to that
The wind howls through the empty blocks looking for a home
I run through the empty stone because I'm all alone
London's burning with boredom now
:: Johnny 2:08 PM [+] ::
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R.I.P. Joe Strummer. This just popped on Yahoo a couple of minutes ago. My favorite guy in one of my favorite, if not downright favorite, bands of all time. Shoot, I'm shocked. Joe was one of the cool and the crazy. And of course, I mentioned him in my music post from last night. And that post was followed by my "Quipu Body Count." I better shut up.... More later on Joe....
:: Johnny 11:22 AM [+] ::
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Quipu Body Count. In the past month or so:
I told you about the loony president of Turkmenistan. A day after posting, an assassination attempt was made on him.
I mentioned the electronic music group Stereolab. A week or so later, the singer was killed in a bicycle mishap.
I posted a link to this loony radical guy VOXFUX. A few days later, the Feds raided his apartment on Long Island.
I started wearing a cap with the Goya food company logo on it. A week later, one of the founding brothers of the company died. Big obit in the Times.
:: Johnny 2:01 AM [+] ::
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Brain Center For Music Appreciation Found. A quote from the article: " 'It's not necessary for human survival, yet something inside us craves it,' said Janata. 'I think this research helps us understand that craving a little bit more.'
I have always felt that one of the baffling things about being human and living on Earth is our affinity for music. It excites, it depresses, it exhilarates, it really hits a nerve--for better mostly. I have been thinking a lot about music over the past couple of months, what with the onset of my hijinksical karaoke "career." I have a vid of The Clash's Joe Strummer going into what appears to be a trance while performing "Safe European Home" live. Through the seemingly innocuous and silly bouts of karaoke singing, I have felt that same swell of emotion and otherworldliness that Joe exhibits when I really get into a song. From my energetic shout of "Let's rock again now!" during "Be-Bop-A-Lula" to my rendition of "When Tears Go By," I go to another galaxy. I had a big discussion about this with Kelly from Reno a couple of weeks ago. She said, "Music is weird." And then today, on TV I happened to catch the scene in "The Shawshank Redemption" where Andy plays an opera recording over the prison sound system and the prisoners seem to go all loopy in admiring the beauty of the piece.
Philip K. Dick had an unfinished novel in which the aliens come to Earth because we have music, and they think that Earth is heaven because we have music. Dick was big on music--he worked at record stores in San Francisco for years.
I have in hand, but haven't cracked yet, the great Paul Devereux's (I've seen him lecture twice) relatively new book "Stone Age Soundtracks." It's about the auditory aspects of ancient sites like Stonehenge and Chichen Itza. Think I'll go crack it now--and put on the headphones.

:: Johnny 1:50 AM [+] ::
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"1000 New York Buildings." "Kurt Vonnegut coined the phrase "Skyscraper National Park" to describe Manhattan."
:: Johnny 1:04 AM [+] ::
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The Essence of Jainism. These are the people who broomsweep ahead of them while they walk so they don't accidentally step on an insect. An admirable regard for life, I'd say.
:: Johnny 1:02 AM [+] ::
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Information Awareness Office. Learn all about the occult origins of the den of spies here. An excerpt: "The acronym formed by the Information Awareness Office -- I.A.O. -- is the very name of the Sun God, Bel, or Baal! Listen:

"In the pagan religion of Hinduism, we also see a 'trinity' of three gods -- Brahma, the creator; Vishnu, the preserver; and Shiva, the destroyer. (Freemason author) Waite explains: 'Siva [or Shiva] is the Babylonian Bel, identical with the Sun-God, I.A.O.' " ["Hidden Secrets of Masonry, by Dr. Cathy Burns, p. 29]

Therefore, the acronym formed by the name of this Bush Administration office is the old, pagan name for the Sun-God! Is it any wonder, then, that the Sun and its rays are so dramatically "out-raying" from this All-Seeing Eye of Lucifer on this I.A.O. symbol? You know, Illuminist John Poindexter could have come up with any name relating to the collection of information on American citizens; he did not need to come up with a name whose acronym equals the hidden, secret name of the Satanic god, Baal. God cursed Baal mightily in the Old Testament and brought Israel into destructive physical judgment. Baal is one of the primary gods of the Babylonian pantheon of gods; therefore, we see yet another instance in which America is revived Babylon."


:: Johnny 12:48 AM [+] ::
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VOXFUX Redux. I linked to this "radical" conspiracy site a few days ago. Since then, the guy's house has been raided, I think for threatening the president. He is supposedly on the lam. The VOXFUX guy--not the president.
:: Johnny 12:45 AM [+] ::
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Yahoo News has a banner ad running that states "News, almost before it happens." The blurb is causing lightning storms among my neurons and synapses as I try to figure out what it can possibly mean.
:: Johnny 12:19 AM [+] ::
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Science, Liberty and Peace. An essay by Aldus Huxley from the late '40s. A guy was reading it on WFMU, and it was on the money, I'd say. Couldn't find it on-line, but here's a good summary.
:: Johnny 11:25 PM [+] ::
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A Christmas Clone? It's interestting that the Globe & Mail chose to put this in the "Health" section.
:: Johnny 11:22 PM [+] ::
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Fantasy Drinking Tournament. Thanks, Modern Drunkard. The newsest bout pits Dylan Thomas againt Charles Bukowski. Jackie Gleason won last month.
:: Johnny 7:25 PM [+] ::
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This is Very Strange. They are stuffed animals. Not like toys, though. They used to be alive. Make sure you see the "Guinea Pigs' Cricket Match" and "The Rabbits Village School"--and, way down the page, behold the monkey riding the goat.
:: Johnny 7:18 PM [+] ::
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Spy Office Loses Creepy Logo. The Information Awareness Office home page no longer sports the scary eye-in-the-pyramid logo. Check out the group's projects here. You can see the logo here at this weird site.
:: Johnny 7:10 PM [+] ::
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Web Economy Bullshit Generator.

:: Johnny 2:26 PM [+] ::
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I Might Like You Better If We Slept Together.
:: Johnny 1:15 PM [+] ::
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The Humpty Dance. Whatever happened to that rapper dude with the nose thing going on, Humpty Hump? Find out here. And maybe he's involved in this.
:: Johnny 5:02 PM [+] ::
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Naked People From the Past. Wow, the big clock thing is Dali-esque, no?
:: Johnny 12:46 AM [+] ::
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Wrestler Shot Dead. Bojnourd, Khorassan prov, Dec 17, IRNA -- Iranian wrestler Ahmad Effat
was shot dead at his home's doorstep on Monday night, Bojnourd Justice
Department official Davood Asghari said on Tuesday.
Effati won a gold medal at Indian Championship last week and the
papers plastered on the walls of the city to hail the champion still
remain.
Investigations are underway to identify the culprit and possible
accomplice in the murder, Asghari said.
:: Johnny 5:22 PM [+] ::
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Bizarre Sun Gazer Baffles Indian Ophthalmologists.
:: Johnny 5:05 PM [+] ::
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My Favorite Bible Story. God sends two bears to eat 42 children for making fun of a dude's bald head. From 2 Kings 2:23-24. And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
2:24
And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
From the Skeptic's Annotated Bible.

:: Johnny 4:52 PM [+] ::
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Entombed Animals. "...I had set to break some very large and hard stones, in the middle of one we found a huge toad, full of life and without any visible aperture by which it could get there..."
:: Johnny 4:22 PM [+] ::
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Rasputin. Yesterday was the anniversary of his murder. Rasputin was no an easy man to kill. The nobles tried to poison him but cyanide had no effect. He narrowly avoided being run down by a wagon and avoided numerous other attempts on his life. When one of the nobles shot him, instead of falling down dead, he jumped to his feet and tried to kill his attacker. When he was shot a second time, still he refused to die. Finally he was captured, bound tightly in a fur robe and tossed, helpless, into the icy waters of the Neva River. Even then, it is said, when his body was recovered, he had three fingers raised and pressed against his chest in the sign of benediction.
:: Johnny 11:45 AM [+] ::
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The Weird World of Talking Boards. That's "Ouija," to you, bub.
:: Johnny 11:42 AM [+] ::
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The Colossus of Rhodes. I always dug this dude.
:: Johnny 11:40 AM [+] ::
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The Weird World of Dr. Hugo and synethesia. That would be the hearing of colors and the seeing of sounds--get my drift? Here's a site by a guy with the condition.
:: Johnny 11:35 AM [+] ::
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Straight Outta Pyongyang, Yo. The North Koreans are a defiant lot: "The DPRK remains unfazed as it has made full preparations to cope with the confrontation and clash with the Yankees. The army and people of the DPRK with burning hatred for the Yankees are in full readiness to fight a death-defying battle" and "the U.S. imperialists will get nothing but a bitter defeat and death in the confrontation with the DPRK."
Read all the grammatical glory here.
:: Johnny 10:16 AM [+] ::
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Binary Spam. Enrage your friends.
:: Johnny 10:05 AM [+] ::
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Shoot, one more thing to worry about.
:: Johnny 5:00 PM [+] ::
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VOXFUX. Wow, this is one far gone site. 9/11 conspiracies galore.
:: Johnny 4:56 PM [+] ::
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Padre Pio. A strange, talented man, indeed. My high school Spanish teacher ran off to the monastery in Italy to join the Padre's order, but they wouldn't have him...probably with good reason. This teacher once claimed that Padre Pio was practicing his miraculous power of bilocation and was in our classroom. He knew this because he could smell the "celestial fragrance" that Padre Pio gives off when he bilocates.
:: Johnny 4:55 PM [+] ::
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Treesit Blog. This blog is by "Remedy an activist who has been sitting 150 feet up an ancient Redwood in Freshwater, California. She has been in her tree Jerry for over 8 months as part of a community's protest to save their forests and watershed. She uses Debian GNU/Linux on her laptop and a 5 mile 802.11b wireless link to get online."
I came across that blog then remembered that another treesitter had fallen out the tree earlier this year--From the Portland IMC open publishing newswire:
Ramsey Gulch Treesitter Dies in Fall.
"Robin (last name unknown), called in the woods by the name Naya, had just arrived in Santa Cruz from Arcata, CA where he may have been involved with direct action in the Mattole area of Humboldt county. He was eager to go to the forest and defend against logging that would harm Steelhead Trout at the southern end of the coastal redwood forests. He was found Tuesday night by employees of Redwood Empire at the base of "Esparanza," the tree he had been sitting in for about 12 hours. He was taken by helicopter to Valley Medical Center in San Jose where he died on Wed. October 9, 2002. He would have been 22 years old on Thursday, October 10, 2002. While he enjoyed rock-climbing, this was Naya's first treesit."
Should have stuck to the rocks, I guess.

:: Johnny 4:49 PM [+] ::
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The Word Spy. New words, jargon-watch etc. "Ignoranus: Someone who is stupid AND an asshole."
:: Johnny 5:21 PM [+] ::
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The Art of Vocal Percussion. Learn how to be a Human Beatbox.
:: Johnny 4:34 PM [+] ::
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Speech Reversals Suggest Bush Lusts For Power, Control. Speech reversals, my eye. Here's the home page of the reverse speech guy.
:: Johnny 1:04 PM [+] ::
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Restrooms of the Future. Hey gals, learn to pee while standing up.
:: Johnny 1:02 PM [+] ::
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Facial Hair. Learn all about it.
:: Johnny 1:01 PM [+] ::
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What's New in the Axis of Evil? From the Korean Central News Agency of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea:
Small Electromagnetic Rock-Drill
Pyongyang, December 12 (KCNA) -- Kim Chaek University of Technology in the Democratic People's Republic of Korea has developed a small electromagnetic rock-drill. It can be used widely in excavation and construction. It drills rocks by turning electric energy into striking energy and rotary energy of chisel.
The light and simple tool is very efficient.
It strikes rocks 1,800 times per minute and the chisel rotates 100 times per minute.
The drill, with less noise, is convenient for use in any place and has no harmful effects on environment.

Be sure to check out the blistering anti-American sentiment in the other stories. Great Communistic broadsiding English is in use...:
"The U.S. is misleading public opinion, claiming that the U.S. took this measure because the DPRK "admitted its nuclear development program", thus being the first to violate the AF. But this is a foolish attempt.
The U.S. already listed the DPRK as part of an "axis of evil" and a target of preemptive nuclear attack. It, therefore, cannot flee from the responsibility for its flagrant violation of the spirit and articles of the AF."
:: Johnny 12:57 PM [+] ::
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Popular Songs With a Native American Theme. "Kaw-Liga" by Hank Williams is one of the sickest songs I've ever heard.
Ralph Jerome- Indian Rock & Roll
The Scarlets- Indian Fever
Art Adams- Indian Joe
Maddox Brothers & Rose- Cherokee Maiden
Tommy Holmes- Wa Chic Ka Noka
Marvin Rainwater- Indian Burial Ground
Gordon Wayne- Red Wing
Homer & Jethro- Little Arrows
Marvin Rainwater- The Pale Faced Indian (Lament of the Cherokee Nation)
Arnold Bennet- Wahoo
Hank Williams- Cherokee Boogie
The Kellwoods- Indian Squaw
Loretta Lynn- Your Squaw is on the Warpath
Beach Boys- 10 Little Indians
Don Willis- Warrior Sam
Frank Cathy- Witchapoo
Hasil Adkins- Do the Scalp
Tommy Downs- Big Indian
Billy Lee Riley- Chief Sitting Bull
Larry Verne- Mr. Custer
Chris Horner- Little Bull & Buttercup
Johnny Preston- Chief Heartbreak
Jackie & the Cedrics- Scalping Party
Elvis Presley- Flaming Star
Roy Orbison- Indian Wedding
Hank Thompson- Squaws Along the Yukon
Musical Linn Twins- Indian Rock
The Shadows- Apache
Hank Williams- Kawliga
Bob Landis with Willie Joe & his Unitar- Cherokee Dance
Billy & the Moonlighters- Little Indian Girl
The Impacts- Bobby Sox Squaw
Johnny Preston- Running Bear

:: Johnny 12:47 PM [+] ::
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Videos. Fine, fine viewing. (Thanks Jack.)
:: Johnny 12:40 PM [+] ::
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Bus Plunge! Your guide to deadly Third-World roadway mishaps. I wish I had clipped every tiny little bus plunge story from newspapers since i first noticed them when I was a kid. I would have quite a scrapbook by now. Here's what seems to be the same site, but it's kind of different.
:: Johnny 12:18 PM [+] ::
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Silly Rockabilly Lyrics. Haven't posted any in a while...
JUNGLE ROCK
(H. Mizell - J. Bobo - B. Collins - R. Simonton)
HANK MIZELL (EKO 506, 1958 - KING 5236, 1959)

I was walkin' through the jungle just the other night
Well, I heard a big rumble and I thought it was a fight
We were lost and we listened and began to move my feet
It was a jungle drum a-doin' a knock-out beat

[Chorus]
It was a jungle-jungle-jungle-jungle rock
A jungle-jungle-jungle-jungle rock
A jungle-jungle-jungle-jungle rock
A jungle-jungle-jungle-jungle rock
A knock-out beat and I had to move my feet
It was a jungle-jungle-jungle-jungle rock

Well, I moved a little closer just to get a better view
I saw a chimp and a monkey a-doin' the Suzie Q
Well, a gator and a hippo was doin' the bop
While a great big falcon was a makin' me hop

Well the fox grabbed the rabbit and did the bunny-hop
And all the fish stepped by and was a-cuttin' the rug
Well, a camel was a jitterbuggin' with a kangaroo
And the elephant was movin' with a ring-dang-doo


:: Johnny 5:43 PM [+] ::
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Neanderthals' Strong-Arm Tactics Revealed. Look at that caveman go....

:: Johnny 5:25 PM [+] ::
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Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulu R'lyeh wagh'nagl fhtagn. Or, "In his house in R'lyeh dead Cthulhu lies dreaming" - H.P. Lovecraft.
:: Johnny 5:22 PM [+] ::
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Skin.
:: Johnny 5:05 PM [+] ::
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Stereolab Singer Dies In Bike Accident. I mentioned this electronica group last week. What's going on? A couple of weeks ago I posted something about the president of Turkmenistan andd the next day someone tried to murderlize him.
:: Johnny 4:03 PM [+] ::
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Sociopath or Passive Serial Killer? You decide! "He has no trouble speaking off the cuff when he's speaking punitively, when he's talking about violence, when he's talking about revenge," Miller told Whyte. "When he struts and thumps his chest, his syntax and grammar are fine. It's only when he leaps into the wild blue yonder of compassion, or idealism, or altruism, that he makes these hilarious mistakes.""
:: Johnny 3:55 PM [+] ::
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Contact Button Working. Wow, I'm slowly but surely upgrading things around here. Click the "Contact" button above and send me lots of mail. And watch for "recommendations" coming up soon in the left hand column.
:: Johnny 2:44 PM [+] ::
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The New York City Anti-Hipster Forum. Guess I better lose the goatee and black clothing...


:: Johnny 2:34 PM [+] ::
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A Child-Sized Walking Robot. Thanks to the fine folks at Honda. Whenever I hear about robots, I think of what Philp K. Dick said: "The only reason to make robots look lifelike is to fool people." I wonder if Honda is working on the Nexus-6? Hello, Roy Batty....
:: Johnny 5:19 PM [+] ::
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Mount Qomolangma. "China said last month westerners should call the 8848-metre mountain on the border of Nepal and Tibet Mt Qomolangma after the "ignorance and arrogance" of British colonialism continued to refer to it as Everest."


:: Johnny 4:19 PM [+] ::
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Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics. I always cringe when a spaceship makes noise (usually a low, rumbling sound) in the vast vacuum of intergalactic space.
:: Johnny 4:00 PM [+] ::
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NYC Transit Strike. It just might happen this coming Sunday/Monday. I wish I lived in St. George again, and not a 15-minute bus ride from ferry. I wonder if a new fashion trend will come out of this strike--in 1980, the wearing of sneakers with business suits came into vogue.
:: Johnny 3:07 PM [+] ::
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The Naghol. I saw films of South Sea islanders doing this when I was a kid. Maybe an influence on my life-long fascination with "primitive" tribes?
:: Johnny 2:41 PM [+] ::
...

Bones at Miami Circle Suggest Beheading Rite.
:: Johnny 2:25 PM [+] ::
...

Little Annie Anxiety Bandez.
LITTLE ANNIE & FRIENDS
CHRISTMAS 2002
Directed by KEITH MCDERMOTT
Musical director PAUL WALLFISCH
with special guests Bill Rice, Kid Congo Powers, Joe Budenholzer,
Christine Donnelly, Nicky Paraiso
DECEMBER 19TH THRU 29TH
thursday 19th, Friday 20th, Saturday 21st, at 10pm
Sunday 22nd 5.30pm
Thursday 26th thru Sunday the 29th all shows 8pm
admission $15/ $12 members
at
THE CLUB AT La MaMa
74a East 4th Street /between Bowery & 2nd Ave.
info/box office 212-475-7710

Annie and her guests will be performing a mixture of carols, torch, and
pieces from her forthcoming album peppered by musings, monologues, and seasonal science anecdotes.
The online gallery at www.brainwashed.com/anxiety
has now been updated. Titles no longer available are
IMAGE 1, IMAGE 2, IMAGE 3, IMAGE 4, IMAGE 5, IMAGE 6,
‘CHRIST SPOTTED IN CHINATOWN MARKET’
‘WORDLESS’
‘NYC 1’
,WORDS MAY KILL’

:: Johnny 10:40 AM [+] ::
...

World Trade Center Proposals. CNN invited everyone to send in their ideas and drawings about what should be done at the site. Some of them are totally nuts, like this one portraying Jesus wrapped in an American flag.
Another entry states "The towers are rebuilt in the form of 911. The nine and the last one have angel wings at the side. In between the 911 are two poles with a halo on the top of each one. The center one has a heart on its antenna, with sparkles reflecting from it. In the front of the towers, on the ground, the landscape is drawn in the form of a cloud with the words inscribed, 'God Bless.'"
There are some cool ones, of course, but some are way out there. Check them all.

:: Johnny 6:03 PM [+] ::
...

The Turkish Wizard of Oz. "The Turkish Wizard of Oz" is, without debate, the single stupidest production in the history of motion pictures...and also the most entertaining."
:: Johnny 5:49 PM [+] ::
...

Turkish Star Trek. "The Turkish Enterprise’s dress code has got to cause problems. The female personnel are forced to wear miniskirts that end four inches above the bottom of their asses, and when they turn around to work on the spray-painted cardboard computers, they have no secrets."
:: Johnny 5:43 PM [+] ::
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President Moron.Com. Another anti-Dubya site. I think the lefties are having more fun with Bush than Limbaugh and his ilk had with Clinton for eight years.
:: Johnny 5:05 PM [+] ::
...

Himalaya. I rented this over the weekend. First time I ever saw a movie in Tibetan with English subtitles. Beautiful film. Filmed over seven months in the forbidding Dolpo region of Nepal, Himalaya tells the story of a generational struggle for the leadership of a tiny mountain village between its proud old chief and a headstrong young caravanner. The balance of power shifts uneasily as they make their annual salt trek across the Himalayas. A visually striking and spiritually captivating portrait of life in one of the world's most extraordinary places, Himalaya is both intense drama and a gorgeous tapestry of the fast disappearing traditions of Tibetan life.
:: Johnny 4:06 PM [+] ::
...

The World Music Institute. Buy music, get tickets to concerts.
:: Johnny 3:58 PM [+] ::
...

Soundtrack to My Late Monday/Early Tuesday Reading.
Music of Indonesia, Vol. 4: Music of Nias & North Sumatra Not as deep sounding as the Balinese.
Master Musicians of Jojouka. The mind-bending and trance-inducing music from Morocco. Paul Bowles, William Burroughs, and Brian Jones of the Rolling Stones were big fans. Bowles said, "The most important single element of Morocco's folk culture is its music ... the entire history and mythology of the people is clothed in song." But that's a lot of cultures, I would say.
Voices of Forgotten Worlds. I listened to one side of this two-cassette/book set. Heard some Tuvan throat singing, the aboriginal Ainu from northern Japan, and some Sammi (that's the politically correct name for Laplanders.)
What was I reading? Red Earth, White Lies: Native Americans and the Myth of Scientific Fact. The author is big on The Bering Strait Land Bridge Hoax.
:: Johnny 3:52 PM [+] ::
...

"They Can't Stop Islam!" An mp3 from Islamic rappers the Soldiers of Allah. Here's the group's homepage.
:: Johnny 3:31 PM [+] ::
...

Shopping in Rome. And you thought New Yorkers were rude....
:: Johnny 3:28 PM [+] ::
...

Tokyo DV. Japanese pop culture stuff, including some tentacle sex.
:: Johnny 3:27 PM [+] ::
...

The Pride of Pakistan.
:: Johnny 3:25 PM [+] ::
...

SlangCity. All about slang. Really dopey lookin' site, though.
:: Johnny 3:16 PM [+] ::
...

The Santorini Caldera. Live Web cam. It's dark there right now. The lights at center right is the village of Oia (i think that's the spelling), a cool place to watch the sun set.
:: Johnny 4:27 PM [+] ::
...

Vegetable Soup. I had it for lunch--a rich, thick, delicious and "large" portion from the Million Gourmet Deli on Pearl Street. Not the Million Dollar Gourmet Deli--just the Million Gourmet Deli. It's up the block from what used to be the Happy Grocery Farm, which now has some pedestrian name like Gourmet Cafe.
:: Johnny 3:17 PM [+] ::
...

Little Richard. He turned 70 yesterday. Is he the true King of Rock 'n' Roll as he claims, or is he just a "diminutive South Sea islander," as he was described in the New York Times review of the 1950s film, "The Girl Can't Help It"?
:: Johnny 2:49 PM [+] ::
...

Esquerita! This guy is the wildest of the Little Richard imitators. Interesting cat. "The farthest out that man has ever gone!"
:: Johnny 2:49 PM [+] ::
...

Behold the Paintings of Isabel Samaras. Your favorite TV characters as you've never seen them before. Gomez and Morticia, Kirk and Spock, The Skipper and Gilligan, Mary Anne and Ginger. (prob not work-safe)
:: Johnny 2:31 PM [+] ::
...

Morbid Curiosity Magazine. "The learned person's approach to all things dark and lovely." Just got the latest annual issue over at Universal News on Broad Street. Published in the spring of 2002, the latest issue includes articles about hallucinating naturally, Anarchists in Paris, hunting ghosts, occult shops, police brutality, racoon invasions, suicidal thoughts, medical experiments...and much more!
:: Johnny 2:28 PM [+] ::
...

Ship of Fools. Fun recreational religion site. Be sure to check out the Gadgets for God. (Thanks Francie.)
:: Johnny 2:25 PM [+] ::
...

The Asian Prince. Falls under the category of Internet Romeos, I think. Not sure if it's real or a put-on. (Thanks, Hans.)
:: Johnny 2:24 PM [+] ::
...

The John Poindexter Awareness Office.
:: Johnny 2:21 PM [+] ::
...

Police State in Action. I take pics of buildings in lower Manhattan all the time.
:: Johnny 2:21 PM [+] ::
...

View From Tokyo Tower. Is Godzilla coming? How many times did that monster and his monster buddies knock this tower down in all those Toho productions?
:: Johnny 3:42 PM [+] ::
...

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
:: Johnny 3:36 PM [+] ::
...

The Afterlife Telegram. I bet Houdini wishes he had this...
:: Johnny 3:32 PM [+] ::
...

Bonehead Maneuver. What with cigarette prices what they are in NYC thanks to Mayor Mike, I spotted a Camel Turkish Blend "two-fer-one" special up at Duane Reade. Got back to to the office and discovered, yes, indeed, they were Turkish Blend, but they were goddamn menthols--the "Turkish Jade Mellow Menthol Blend". Do I have the wherewithal to go up there again in the cold and exchange them? Hell, no. I'm gonna smoke 'em. (This last link--"smoke"--prob not safe for work.)
:: Johnny 3:23 PM [+] ::
...

Man Found Dead 44 Years After 'Trip to U.S.'
MILAN (Reuters) - An Italian man who packed his bags 44 years ago and told friends he was leaving for America was found dead inside one of the walls of his home.
An American woman who recently bought the house near Lucca in northern Tuscany discovered the body Tuesday as she was carrying out renovations, police said.
Inside a thick wall in the cellar the woman found human remains, two packed suitcases, a trowel and other equipment to make a wall, a rusted rifle and a bottle with a suicide note.
The note, on paper headed with the name Nemo Cianelli, explained that the man had discovered he had an incurable disease and had decided to kill himself. He said he had invented the tale of going to America to avoid upsetting his family.
Local newspapers reported in 1958 that Cianelli was missing, and speculated that he might have gone to America, but after a period of rumor and mystery, the story was forgotten.
Police said it appeared Cianelli had packed his suitcases, written the suicide note, built a wall up around himself and then shot himself.
(Thanks Amanda!)
:: Johnny 2:11 PM [+] ::
...

Jacko Versus The Spiders. My God what will he think of next. Also, F. from the Bay Area tells me that "I also heard his "real" voice on taped footage from his court appearance. According to Liza Minelli's "husband," Michael Jackson's quiet whispery voice is all a ruse. And it may be so; when asked what he thought about Gloria Allred's possible child abuse/baby dangling accusations, he said (in a scary real man voice) "She can go to hell." I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't heard it with my own 2 ears."
:: Johnny 1:07 PM [+] ::
...

Total Information Awareness. I'm sorry to keep harping on this, but I think it's important. There's a great article in this week's New Yorker mag about how Philip K. Dickian all this is. I couldn't agree more. As the writer of the article says, there must be someone joking around to pull that all-seeing eye pyramid logo crap on us. Also, I'm swiping this article below by James W. Harris of the Advocates for Self Government, a libertarian outfit.

Federal Computer Database to Spy on All Americans
by James W. Harris
Alarming new federal government plans for spying on all Americans are straight out of George Orwell's 1984.
The feds are busily creating a massive database that will create files on virtually every American from cradle to grave. The Pentagon's creepy new Office of Information Awareness is building a system called "Total Information Awareness." Total Information Awareness will, among other things, monitor virtually very purchase and financial transaction made by American citizens to seek "patterns indicative of terrorist activity." This consumer information will be urged with government database information including visa records, passports, arrest records or reports of "suspicious activity" previously given to law enforcement agencies. The program will also pursue development of biometric technology to enable the further identification and tracking of individuals.
According to federal spokesmen, such things as large cash withdrawals, or the purchase of one-way airline tickets or firearms, could trigger investigations via the Total Information Awareness database. The database will know your reading habits, phone and Internet use (thus creating a First Amendment chilling effect), know when you buy a gun (thus creating de facto national gun registration), and so on. No warrant, no suspicion of criminal activity is required for this information-gathering.
According to the ACLU, Total Information Awareness will "effectively provide government officials with immediate access to our personal information: all of our communications (phone calls, emails and web searches), financial records, purchases, prescriptions, school records, medical records and travel history....Under this program, our entire lives would be catalogued and available to government officials."
The Office of Information Awareness's unbelievable logo seems to flaunt the Orwellian nature of the agency: a huge eye atop a pyramid scanning the globe, with the Latin motto "Knowledge is Power."
See it for yourself at:
http://www.reason.com/0210/artifact.shtml
As Reason Magazine noted: "If you wanted to play on the fears of every paranoiac in the country, you couldn't do much better than the Office of Information Awareness's logo." Of course, given the unprecedented nature of the Total Information Awareness program, it's hardly paranoid to be alarmed by this sinister agency. If that wasn't enough to set you shivering, the Total Information Awareness program was conceived by, and is headed by, the notorious John Poindexter, the former national security adviser to President Reagan who was convicted on five counts of misleading Congress and making false statements during the Iran-Contra investigation.
"John has a real passion for this project," one government official told Fox News. (Why aren't we surprised?)
Total Information Awareness is a police-state measure, pure and simple. It violates the spirit, if not the letter, of the Constitution and Bill of Rights, and it will mean a society in which federal agents are constantly monitoring every move of every citizen.
The government -- of course -- defends Total Information Awareness as a necessary tool to fight terrorism. British statesman William Pitt (1759-1806) had the proper response to that:
"Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves."
Increasingly it seems the biggest threat to American liberties isn't from terrorists, but rather from government officials intent on doing to our Constitutional liberties what the 9-11 terrorists did to the World Trade Center.
(Sources: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,70992,00.html
http://www.aclu.org/Privacy/Privacy.cfm?ID=11323&c=130
http://www.epic.org/privacy/profiling/tia/#resources

http://www.cato.org/research/articles/pena-021122.html )

:: Johnny 1:01 PM [+] ::
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The Rosetta Project. The Rosetta Project is a global collaboration of language specialists and native speakers working to develop a contemporary version of the historic Rosetta Stone. In this updated iteration, our goal is a meaningful survey and near permanent archive of 1,000 languages. Our intention is to create a unique platform for comparative linguistic research and education as well as a functional linguistic tool that might help in the recovery or revitalization of lost languages in unknown futures.
:: Johnny 5:49 PM [+] ::
...

Behold! The Tubes on Mars! Also be sure to behold the "Densely Packed Life Evidence." (link via Aberrant News)
:: Johnny 5:44 PM [+] ::
...

R.I.P. Midnight Oil. The Aussie rockers with a progressive message are no more...
:: Johnny 5:26 PM [+] ::
...

Birdman of Water Street Braves the Cold. I dunno, i'm a man, I can take it, but shoot that don't mean I have to like it. I get up this morning, turn on the TV news and see it's 19 friggin' degrees outside. Do I really have to go dig out one of my cool lookin' sweaters and the red plaid scarf from some dark corner of the closet? Yes. The winds down here on Water Street whip. I went out for a cig break--I looked like Amundsen camping out on the ice shelf. Who comes along through the Vietnam Veterans Plaza but The Birdman of Water Street, pulling along his black case on wheels, making his trademark bird calls. He favored tropical bird sounds today. He was bundled up too. That cat is whack, I tells ya...
:: Johnny 2:21 PM [+] ::
...

Christmas Parties Will See Britons Behaving Badly. Embarassing behavior, from vomiting to snogging.


:: Johnny 12:21 PM [+] ::
...

The Solutrean Hypothesis. Who were the Solutreans?, you ask. Maybe the egghed scientists will find a solution to this mystery.
:: Johnny 12:19 PM [+] ::
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Global Cosmic Catastrophes. Catastrophism, archaeoastronomy, ancient history, mythology and astronomy.
:: Johnny 12:17 PM [+] ::
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Life During Wartime. Some dumbass maybe-terrorist thought Bill Gates works at IBM...and Midtown Manhattan panics.
:: Johnny 12:16 PM [+] ::
...

Student Movement Coordination Committee For Democracy in Iran. The SMCCDI basically wants to separate church and state. Get your democracy on...
"Honorable and Freedom-loving people of Iran,
Day by day, the military and political crisis in the region of the Persian Gulf and the Middle East is getting deeper. In the region, every government and political force that is realistic and intellectual is looking for a logical solution to avoid a military clash; which, have become the forecast for the region due to the lunatic policies of the pro-war forces, the defendants of terrorism- be they overt or covert- and the producers of weapons of mass destruction. Under such circumstances, the usurpants of political power in Iran- that from the very beginning had based the establishment and solidifying of their inhumane order upon systematic government-sponsored terrorism against their own people- are attempting to shamelessly support the pro-war factions and the Palestinian terrorist groups through the forced gathering of government employees and Hezbollah thugs."

:: Johnny 12:15 PM [+] ::
...

Palestinian Humor. Via the Electronic Intifida.
:: Johnny 12:12 PM [+] ::
...

Art from the Himalayas.
:: Johnny 5:50 PM [+] ::
...

Catch Jacko's Baby. I dunno, I'm still fascinated--and disgusted--by that episode. Help the kid in this fun game. Also, Jacko should check this article out. Some guy on FARK.com I think it was said the only reason The King of Baby Danglers was having children was to use them as face farms for future transplants when his own falls off for good. And, as Candice of Aberrant News said to me, "I still don't know how he could hold the baby over the balcony like that. What if he tripped or fainted or his face suddenly fell off?"

:: Johnny 5:29 PM [+] ::
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Attention All Homelanders. The seal for the new department has been revealed. Check it out here.
:: Johnny 5:12 PM [+] ::
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Get Your War On. There's a new set of comics, published just last week. "When John Ashcroft is reviewing your credit card purchases, does he give you Triple Bonus Miles for buying a Bible?"
:: Johnny 5:10 PM [+] ::
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The Results Are In! To determine if the "terror master" is "alive" or "dead", I "conducted" a "poll" of the "Internet". There are 4,690 Web matches for the phrase "Bin Laden is dead," while "Bin Laden is alive" garnered 9,240 matches. According to Debkafile, he's currently hiding in the Empty Quarter desert of the Arabian Peninsula.
:: Johnny 2:09 PM [+] ::
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Can George W. Bush Be Charged With Plagiarism? I think I linked to this before, but came across it again today. I just finished reading Orwell's book.
:: Johnny 12:46 PM [+] ::
...

New England Aquarium. One of the highlights of weekend trip to Boston. A first-rate operation. When I see bizarre sea creatures, I can only think of what an insane deity the Creator was.
:: Johnny 12:30 PM [+] ::
...

Soundtrack to My Late Sunday/Early Monday Reading.
Maximum Electronica Vol. 1 (early Moby, Stereolab, Bjork (?), etc.; here's an electronica primer).
Inside Afghanistan: The Living Tradition (lots of percussion; recordings from 1955 and 1970; http://www.afghanistans.com/Information/People/Music.htm).
B.A.N.G. by Bay Area New Gamelan. (white people trying to play the mind-bending traditional music of Bali and Indonesia).
Satyricon by Meatbeat Manifesto
What was I reading? 1984 by George Orwell. Finished it. I love Big Brother.

:: Johnny 12:12 PM [+] ::
...

Invasion of the Giant Jelly Fish. The huge creatures are 3 feet wide, 15 feet long. and weigh up to 23 stone. Great photo

:: Johnny 4:20 AM [+] ::
...

Owls. In American Indian legend and lore...
:: Johnny 4:18 AM [+] ::
...

Sheeple. "At checkout a computer matches your fingerprint to a customer database and then calls up your payment information to finish the purchase.
"It speeds up the checkout process and eliminates a lot of the fraud in the check cashing system," says Huddleston.
So far nearly 3,000 customers have signed up for the secure touch and pay pilot system and many say they like the convenience."



:: Johnny 12:01 AM [+] ::
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Orangs. A secret population of orang-utans has been discovered in the forests of Borneo.
:: Johnny 11:58 PM [+] ::
...

??????. Historian says that the true origins of England's highest order of chivalry lie in a medieval cult of veneration of the Virgin Mary's genitalia.

:: Johnny 11:55 PM [+] ::
...

Carl Jung's Interpretation of UFOs. Carl Jung, the great Swiss psychiatrist, saw UFO descriptions as an archetypal mythmaking process within the collective unconscious, or subliminal mind of mankind. He pointed out that, faced with decaying religious values and mythological structures, men attempt to create a new sense of cosmic unity and belonging. The round saucer shape itself has historically symbolized wholeness. When the traditional conceptions of religion are no longer potent, the mind's image-forming processes invest a great deal of psychic energy in forming new images and new unconscious links with the creator. Jung saw this process reflected in his patient's dreams as well as in modern art and fiction. This unconscious activity he felt, could account for many UFO experiences with religious or occult overtones.
However, it was not his intention to deny the reality of such experiences. After ten year's research into the UFO literature written by such respected scientists as Edward Ruppelt, former head of the Air Force Project Blue Book, and Major Donald Keyhoe, director of NlCAP, Jung felt there was no room for doubting that many UFOs sighted were physically real. He suggested that some religiously-oriented UFO experiences were simply occasioned by or projected upon actual sightings. (He also hypothesized that certain psychic projections could throw back an echo upon a radar screen or result in other physical manifestations.) Claims of extraterrestrial contact, within a religious or spiritual context, can be found throughout history.

:: Johnny 11:54 PM [+] ::
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The Mystery Hole. "SHOCKING PERSONAL REVELATIONS AWAIT
THOSE WHO DARE TO GAZE INTO THE INFINITE DEPTHS
OF THE AWE-INSPIRING MYSTERY HOLE"

:: Johnny 11:53 PM [+] ::
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Greetings From Milton, Massachusetts. Here's where I be this weekend...
:: Johnny 11:22 PM [+] ::
...

Lene Lovich.
Lucky Number
Udy, udy, udy, udy etc...

I never used to cry 'cause I was all alone
For me, myself and I is all I've ever known
I never felt the need to have a hand to hold
In everything I do I take complete control
That's where I'm coming from
My Lucky Number's one

I've everthing I need to keep me satisfied
There's nothing you can do to make me change my mind
I'm having so much fun
My Lucky Number's one
Ah! Oh! Ah! Oh!

Ay ay ay ay ay...
I now detect an alien vibration here
There's something in the air besides the atmosphere
The object of the action is becoming clear
An imminent attack upon my heart I fear
The evidence is strong
My Lucky Number's rung
Ah! Oh! Ah! Oh!

Something tells me my Lucky Number's gonna be changing soon
Something tells me Lucky Number's gonna be oweoweoweoweoweowe...

You certainly do have a strange effect on me
I never thought that I could feel the way I feel
There's something in your eyes gives me a wild idea
I never want to be apart from you my dear
I guess it must be true
My Lucky Number's two

This rearrangement suits me now I must confess
The number one was dull and number two is best
I wanna stay with you
My Lucky Number's two
Ah! Oh! Ah! Oh!

Number... Number...

:: Johnny 11:13 PM [+] ::
...

Weapons of Sex Destruction. "The United Nations launched perhaps its most important weapons inspections ever yesterday with a team that includes a 53-year-old Virginia man with no specialized scientific degree and a leadership role in sadomasochistic sex clubs."
:: Johnny 10:38 PM [+] ::
...

Rap Snacks.
Fer snizzle.
:: Johnny 10:37 PM [+] ::
...

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww. The world's longest tongue belongs to a German schoolgirl.
:: Johnny 10:36 PM [+] ::
...

Absinthe. I want some, por favor.
:: Johnny 10:34 PM [+] ::
...

A Thanksgiving Prayer by William S. Burroughs
Thanks for the wild turkey and
the passenger pigeons, destined
to be shit out through wholesome
American guts.

Thanks for a continent to despoil
and poison.

Thanks for Indians to provide a
modicum of challenge and
danger.

Thanks for vast herds of bison to
kill and skin leaving the
carcasses to rot.

Thanks for bounties on wolves
and coyotes.

Thanks for the American dream,
To vulgarize and to falsify until
the bare lies shine through.

Thanks for the KKK.

For nigger-killin' lawmen,
feelin' their notches.

For decent church-goin' women,
with their mean, pinched, bitter,
evil faces.

Thanks for "Kill a Queer for
Christ" stickers.

Thanks for laboratory AIDS.

Thanks for Prohibition and the
war against drugs.

Thanks for a country where
nobody's allowed to mind the
own business.

Thanks for a nation of finks.

Yes, thanks for all the
memories-- all right let's see
your arms!

You always were a headache and
you always were a bore.

Thanks for the last and greatest
betrayal of the last and greatest
of human dreams.
:: Johnny 10:33 PM [+] ::
...

The Turducken. This recipe is just insane. Read the whole thing. I'm in awe of anyone who just even attempts this...
:: Johnny 4:27 PM [+] ::
...

Shoot, I posted something about this Turkmenistan guy yesterday, and today someone tried to kill him.
:: Johnny 4:56 PM [+] ::
...

Falconry Artwork From India. This site contains a collection of original paintings of falcons and other birds of prey in traditional Indian artistic styles.
:: Johnny 12:05 PM [+] ::
...

Ground Zero Family Fun Center. Bad taste? You bet. But you really have to see the money-making that goes on over there. They sell stuff like prints that are just not historically accurate, like showing two towers ablaze with another plane coming in…. See this page’s disclaimer at the lower left.

:: Johnny 11:28 AM [+] ::
...

Create Your Own Country. “NationStates is a nation simulation game. You create your own country, fashioned after your own political ideals, and care for its people. Either that or you deliberately torture them. It's really up to you.”

:: Johnny 11:26 AM [+] ::
...

Linking Survival After Death With Subatomic Physics Is Censored in Great Britain. This is strange...
:: Johnny 11:25 AM [+] ::
...

Nanotechnology Machine Art Gallery. They can only draw them now.
:: Johnny 11:20 PM [+] ::
...

Biblical Plagues..Shoot, to think I have stood on this volcano....
:: Johnny 11:19 PM [+] ::
...

One Million Links. Ahh, the missing links...
:: Johnny 11:12 PM [+] ::
...

The "Hot" Atheist Woman. I dunno...I'm enamored...
:: Johnny 11:05 PM [+] ::
...

Sir Richard Francis Burton's Hadj to Mecca as an Infidel. Only this way-cool adventurer could have pulled it off. He brought to the west the Kama Sutra too.
:: Johnny 11:02 PM [+] ::
...

The Foresight Institute. "Nonprofit educational organization formed to help prepare society for anticipated advanced technologies." In other words, look out for nanotechnology....
:: Johnny 11:00 PM [+] ::
...

Turkmenistan. "What makes the headlines, though, is Mr. Niyazov's boundless buffoonery. Having already named cities, streets, mosques, collective farms, celestial bodies and the main airport after himself in his vainglorious incarnation as Turkmenbashi, having littered the country with huge statues, billboards and portraits of himself, having put his face on all the money, all TV broadcasts and the sinister little lapel pins worn by top government officials, he went on earlier this month to remake the Turkmen calendar, renaming months and days after himself and his deceased mother. The stocky 62-year-old dictator also recently re-defined the ages of man, deciding that old age does not begin until 85, which conveniently means he'll have another 23 years before he has to fret about retirement. Though that shouldn't be a worry. Earlier this month he also had himself named "president-for-life." For the second time since 1999." From the Wall Street Journal http://www.opinionjournal.com/columnists/cRosett/?id=110002187
:: Johnny 5:11 PM [+] ::
...

Let's Go Drinking in Ashbagat, Turkmenistan.
Bars / Discos Discos generally start at 11.00 and get going about midnight. An admission charge is generally levied.
British Pub - see Restaurants. Disco nightly in Florida Restaurant (garden area during the summer).
Harry's Bar. Basement of Mizan Centre (Berzengi) - see Restaurants. Loud, cafe-style disco bar.
Grand Tutrkmen Hotel. Bar on Mezzanine Floor. Pool bar outside in summer. Paradise Disco in basement. Free admission to guests.
Ak Altin Merhaba Bar. Mezzanine Floor cocktail lounge.
Turkmenistan Hotel. 24 hour bar in basement. Gloomy
Teremoc. Bar and Disco nightly 8 pm to midnight.
ABC ((Berzengui) - see Restaurants. Small bar. Disco in A Bar at rear of complex adioming swimming pool (pool emptied in winter).
Watan Cinema. New disco/bar in the cinema pit. Patio style.
Kiss. The latest "in" place from the man who established Teremoc.

:: Johnny 5:07 PM [+] ::
...

May God Strike Me Dead.
:: Johnny 4:22 PM [+] ::
...

Forgotten New York City. Bits and pieces of the old still lurk about. Speaking of Olde New York, I'm looking forward to "Gangs of New York."
:: Johnny 4:14 PM [+] ::
...

Pranking a Nigerian E-Mail Scammer. With H.P. Lovecraft references, yet....


:: Johnny 12:01 PM [+] ::
...

World AIDS Day. This is a message from Little Annie!
Hello I've been hipped up to this concert connected with this years
World AIDS Day, and feel compelled to pass it on. It sounds great.
Here's the 411
GIVE US HOPE
A WORLD AIDS DAY BENEFIT CONCERT
featuring TIM JANIS and THE SINIKITHEMBA HIV+ CHOIR
OF SOUTH AFRICA
special guest TIM SHEW
Sunday December 1st, 2002 at 4pm
THE RIVERSIDE CHURCH
490 Riverside Drive
New York, New York
tickets $25 all proceeds to benefit AIDS projects in Africa
for tickets please call 866-468-7619
or visit www.ticketweb.com
Also here are some web sights to find out about local events for WORLD
AIDS DAY 2002 around the world.
www.unaids.org
www.avert.org

:: Johnny 11:59 AM [+] ::
...

9/11 Timeline. Interesting.
:: Johnny 5:36 AM [+] ::
...

Old UFO Photos. From like the 20s, 30s and 40s.
:: Johnny 5:34 AM [+] ::
...

Loch Ness Webcam. Can you scope out Nessie?
:: Johnny 5:32 AM [+] ::
...

Jack and Lee. Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey Oswald 39 years ago today. Here's a link to LHO's last words.
12:33 P.M. Lee Harvey Oswald left work, entered a bus, and said, "Transfer, please."
:: Johnny 5:30 AM [+] ::
...

JFK. Here's what really happened 39 years ago.
:: Johnny 4:18 PM [+] ::
...

Oh Really? I Didn't Know That.
TO: All Employees
FROM: Internal Communications
SUBJECT: Suspicious Emails Soliciting Help Transferring Funds
Recently, a number of employees have received "urgent" emails, often from Nigeria, Congo or Angola, making an emotional request for help in "secretly" moving funds out of these nations for safekeeping, usually offering a portion of the funds as payment. Some of these requests ask for your bank account number or an initial payment, supposedly preventing you from becoming liable for money laundering penalties. This device enables the requesting party to gain access to your money.
While these are disturbing to receive, this approach has been around for a number of years and is generally believed to be a fraud. Please disregard.

:: Johnny 4:12 PM [+] ::
...

Emotion, Violent Blasts and Metaphor. I flew to Europe in August 2001. I sought my lover.
This was an armchair traveler’s first trip outside the hemisphere. Shit, I’d been up and down on this longtitude, from Newfoundland to Florida to Caribbean isles. Never left or right, never East or West. Always up and down the map, never all around.
On the flight I scoped from my window the southern tip of Ireland. I knew it was Ireland because British Airways has this TV screen on the back of the seat in front of you, so you can track your flight. I thought up north there they have The Troubles. We flew over Cardiff, in Wales. I thought of my friend Sharon below. Then, we flew over England. It was a patchwork of farming fields, different shades of green and gray. No crop circles. But I thought, this place was bombed by Junkers and Heinkels. V-1 and V-2 rocket bombs exploded here. I wanted my lover.
I spent an hour or so at the café at Heathrow, drinking a beer, smoking, and thinking about her. I looked at the scratches on my arm. They came from running for the #62 bus to the ferry at the outset of my trip—my luggage caused me to fall. No big deal I thought at the time, but from my readings later I gleaned that the stumble was a portent.
After the café, I got on the Athens flight. The pilot announced all the usual crap that somehow I know pilots announce all the time. And then: “We will be flying over Austria, Croatia, and Bosnia,” he said. Good. More war reminders. (I have since delved into the Croatian thing, and it ain’t pretty. Look out for landmines.)
I arrived in Greece. I met her, my lover. Ever hear hearts pound?
Emotions high. Sexual energy extant. Constant glowing.
I see Athens. I think, “This place was occupied by Nazis.” Lover described former apartment house dwelling that had Nazi bullet holes on its front. We go to the Acropolis and the Parthenon. There’s a plaque there honoring two cats who climbed up there one night, ripped down the Nazi flag, and ran up the Greek standard. Shoot, I think ouzo was involved.
We go to an Aegean island.
Explosions. Dynamite blasts interrupted negotiations with peasant Lazurus over quarters. Quarrymen out back. BOOM!
Peasant landlord Lazurus advised that hunting season began the next morning.
That evening, black volcanic beach beckoned. Beach emotions. Heart emotions. Emotions ruled. Heart felt. What is this feeling? Back in our hot, stuffy, and little room, we made love. The little fan did little to cool us.
Dawn arrived, and outside the farmhouse accommodations I watched men with shotguns and .22s go up the rocky trail. A short time later, I saw rabbits and birds slaughtered. Shot. Dead.
We climbed the volcano that blew apart the island 2,000 years ago. A sense of immense power prevailed. It still steamed. And so did my feelings for this woman standing next to me.
We let off steam at the disco.
But things fell apart.
Things slid, somehow.
Some songs I heard there at the Paradise I can’t bear to hear anymore, but they keep showing up to this day in coincidental matters.
I flew back to USA a few days later. I landed at Newark, took the bus to the PATH, got that train to the WTC, walked to the ferry, disembarked from there to the Sidestreet, and drank.
I did shots of tequila for about a week, something I just do not do. I missed her madly, and I was devastated by her absence.
And then one fine Tuesday morning 12 days after my return from the Hellenic Republic—it really was a nice, beautiful, sunny day—I witnessed 3,000 people die with my own eyes. I saw a jet plane fly into a building and a jet-fuel explosion that rattled my window. I watched skyscrapers fall. I was covered in shit and debris as I marched up the FDR Drive. I cried for those people.
Emotion. Explosion. War. Love.
I hope the latter, for us all.
Love? What is it?
Most natural painkiller what there is.
LOVE
--William S. Burroughs

:: Johnny 3:19 AM [+] ::
...

A Dangerous, Scary Man. Shit, in this country, he'd be arrested, and for good reason. And then we would have a new TV spectacle to gawk at. Imagine the perp walk. I know I would be gawkin' (I didn't much gawk at his nose photo last week, though--now that was scary.)
:: Johnny 12:40 AM [+] ::
...

Wild Man Fisher. This gonna take some 'splainin, but i just don't feel like it right now.
:: Johnny 12:31 AM [+] ::
...

Japanese Urban Legends, Or What?
:: Johnny 12:22 AM [+] ::
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Scars. This is a site that features photos of movie stars who sport scars.
:: Johnny 12:14 AM [+] ::
...

Archives. I've republished everything since July. They are all the way over to the right.
:: Johnny 10:46 AM [+] ::
...

R.I.P. James Coburn. Whenever he comes in conversation, Butch and I always recall the scene in "In Like Flint" where he talks dolphin. Read a synopsis here
:: Johnny 10:19 AM [+] ::
...

Spam Scam. This one sure got the Nigerian one beat. Bonus: Great Third World English.
Dear Sir,

Please my husband has been killed,I am currently in
hiding with my little daughter and my communication
with the outside world is limited based on the fact
that even the wife of the deputy to my husband has
been kidnapped.My whole world has fallen apart.

My name is Michelle Guei,My husband Robert,has until
some few days ago was leading our
country-Cote'd'vour.He retired some people from the
military.These people formed an alliance with the
leftists and decided to eliminate him like a foul.My
country is now in tormoil by virture of this.

There is a price for catching me based on the fact
that they got wind of the fact that I escaped with
some documents pertaining to funds deposits made by my
husband which he was hoping to use for investment.I
had to pay dearly for my escape,and even the mere move
of being a female without a male sheild is suddenly
dangerous.Now I am wrecked.

Hope still lingers for me and my little girl,in the
documents that I have with me, as we have been able to
assert ownership of the funds in the various secure
houses which amount to an average of $24million
dollars each,which he lodged in with further
instructions that they were for onward transmission to
an expartraite friend,but unfurtunately,he died before
contacting that friend.

I would need to have these funds recieved.They have to
be moved out, into a safer environment,so that I can
afford to fulfill the investment aspirations of my
late husband.
This forms the crux of my mail to you,which after my
prayers,I decided on you,after hours of revealing
prayers,I would also require that you recieve these
"items" on my behalf,after which you will send to me a
visa so that I could come to your country for the
settlement. Moreover, I seriously need mobility.I at
this instance offer a 15% settlement of the total face
value as peace offering to you for your kind
assistance.

If your interest is elicited,kindly make available
your phone,and fax number so that we can have access
to each other in other for me to prepare the necessary
documents that will ensure the smooth safe landing of
these "items" to you.

Regards,

Michele
:: Johnny 9:32 AM [+] ::
...

Musical Coinci-Dance. The past few days I posted some lyrics by Bryan Ferry/Roxy Music. I had no idea he was playing in the area. I read a review--a good one--in today's paper, from his show at the Beacon. It mentioned that his gee-tar player for this tour is Chris Spedding. Spedding is the gee-tarist I refer into the post below who plays the rockin' instrumental on Robert Gordon"s "Black Slacks." Go figure...

:: Johnny 10:47 PM [+] ::
...

Overheard on Ferry.
Guy: "I can't do it! I can't do it!"
Gal: Neither can I! I'm diagnosed manic-depressive!"
:: Johnny 7:25 AM [+] ::
...

Black Slacks. Apparently originally done by Joe Bennett and the Sparkletones, in the late 70s this was popularized by Robert Gordon.
When I go places
I just don't care
You'd know why if you'd see what I wear
Black slacks pegged fourteen
Black slacks, really are keen
Black slacks make a cool daddy-o
When I put them on I'm a-rarin' to go

The girls all look when I go by
It's what I wear that makes them sigh
Black slacks, I wear a red bow-tie
Black slacks, they say "Me, Oh my!"
Black slacks, with a cat-chain down to my knees
I ain't nothin' but a real cool breeze

Man you ought to see me with my derby on
I know that you would say, "He's gone!"
Black slacks, mostly in the head
Black slacks, well that's what I said
Black slacks, I'm the cat's pajamas
Cause I run around with crazy little mamas
(here, in Gordon's version at least, is a rockin' gee-tar break, prefaced by an exortation to "Go, cat, go!")
B-B-B-B-Black slacks
B-B-B-B-Black slacks
B-B-B-B-Black slacks
B-B-B-B-Black slacks
B-B-B-B-Black slacks

Black slacks make a cool daddy-o
When I put 'em on I'm a-rarin' to go

- Joe Bennett-Jimmy Denton




:: Johnny 7:23 AM [+] ::
...

Carl LaFong. Arriving on the scene at daybreak, Barnes is inquiring about the whereabouts of: "LaFong? Carl LaFong? Capital L, small a, capital F, small o, small n, small g." Fields: "No, I don't know Carl LaFong -- capital L, small a, capital F, small o, small n, small g. And if I did know Carl LaFong, I wouldn't admit it!"
:: Johnny 6:53 AM [+] ::
...

W.C. Fields. "Witness the scene in which, under ceaseless torment from his wife, Fields finds it impossible to sleep in the house so he strings up a hammock on the porch, where he's similarly tormented by a man looking for one "Carl LaFong -- capital 'L,' small 'a,' capital 'F,' small 'o,' small 'n,' small 'g.'" Their back-and-forth banter -- complete with multiple spellings of Mr. LaFong's name -- is a study in irritation that's never been topped, even by Fields himself." Thanks, Womack, for reminding me of this. I'm laughing.
:: Johnny 6:39 AM [+] ::
...

Homeland Security Act of 2002.
:: Johnny 12:30 PM [+] ::
...

Mark of the Beast. "Get Chipped", my ass. Read the press release. here's an excerpt:
In the security field, VeriChip can be used in a variety of security, defense, homeland security and secure-access applications. These applications include using VeriChip to control authorized access to government installations and private-sector buildings, nuclear power plants, national research laboratories, correctional facilities, and sensitive transportation resources. VeriChip is able to function as a stand-alone, tamper-proof personal verification technology or it can operate in conjunction with other security technologies such as standard ID badges and advanced biometric devices (e.g. retina scanners, thumbprint readers or face recognition devices). The use of VeriChip as a means for secure access can also be extended to include a range of consumer products such as PCs, laptops, cars, cell phones, and even homes and apartments.
:: Johnny 12:20 PM [+] ::
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Homeland Orwellian Nightmare.
:: Johnny 12:13 PM [+] ::
...

The Homeland Security Act: The Fascist Wish List Fulfilled.
:: Johnny 12:04 PM [+] ::
...

Archeological Dig Uncovers Ancient Race of Skeleton People.
:: Johnny 11:45 AM [+] ::
...

little annie anxiety bandez. Annie and her mom have a gallery show going on. I missed the opening. Damn. Check out the great photos of Annie after checking the gallery info.
:: Johnny 11:43 AM [+] ::
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Attention All Homelanders.
:: Johnny 11:39 AM [+] ::
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Great Graphic, Scary Implications.
:: Johnny 11:37 AM [+] ::
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Criswell Predicts. He was supposed to be a psychic but he was just full of it. He uttered these memorable words in "Plan 9 from Outer Space" (my favorite is in italics): Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you
and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future
events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the
unknown, the mysterious, the unexplainable. That is why you are here. And now,
for the first time, we are bringing to you the full story of what happened on
that fateful day. We are giving you all the evidence, based only on the secret
testimonies of the miserable souls who survived this terrifying ordeal. The
incidents, the places, my friend we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us
punish the guilty, let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand
the shocking facts about grave robbers from outer space?

:: Johnny 4:30 PM [+] ::
...

More Than This. Another Roxy Music song.

I could feel at the time
There was no way of knowing
Fallen leaves in the night
Who can say where they're blowing
As free as the wind
And hopefully learning
Why the sea on the tide
Has no way of turning

More than this-there is nothing
More than this-tell me one thing
More than this-there is nothing

It was fun for a while
There was no way of knowing
Like a dream in the night
Who can say where we're going
No care in the world
Maybe I'm learning
Why the sea on the tide
Has no way of turning

More than this-there is nothing
More than this-tell me one thing
More than this-there is nothing
:: Johnny 4:18 PM [+] ::
...

Cool. Thanks, Klaudija, for the link.
:: Johnny 4:12 PM [+] ::
...

You Are A Suspect. From the NY Times:
You Are a Suspect
By WILLIAM SAFIRE
WASHINGTON — If the Homeland Security Act is not amended before passage, here is what will happen to you:

Every purchase you make with a credit card, every magazine subscription you buy and medical prescription you fill, every Web site you visit and e-mail you send or receive, every academic grade you receive, every bank deposit you make, every trip you book and every event you attend — all these transactions and communications will go into what the Defense Department describes as "a virtual, centralized grand database."

To this computerized dossier on your private life from commercial sources, add every piece of information that government has about you — passport application, driver's license and bridge toll records, judicial and divorce records, complaints from nosy neighbors to the F.B.I., your lifetime paper trail plus the latest hidden camera surveillance — and you have the supersnoop's dream: a "Total Information Awareness" about every U.S. citizen.

This is not some far-out Orwellian scenario. It is what will happen to your personal freedom in the next few weeks if John Poindexter gets the unprecedented power he seeks.

Remember Poindexter? Brilliant man, first in his class at the Naval Academy, later earned a doctorate in physics, rose to national security adviser under President Ronald Reagan. He had this brilliant idea of secretly selling missiles to Iran to pay ransom for hostages, and with the illicit proceeds to illegally support contras in Nicaragua.

A jury convicted Poindexter in 1990 on five felony counts of misleading Congress and making false statements, but an appeals court overturned the verdict because Congress had given him immunity for his testimony. He famously asserted, "The buck stops here," arguing that the White House staff, and not the president, was responsible for fateful decisions that might prove embarrassing.

This ring-knocking master of deceit is back again with a plan even more scandalous than Iran-contra. He heads the "Information Awareness Office" in the otherwise excellent Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which spawned the Internet and stealth aircraft technology. Poindexter is now realizing his 20-year dream: getting the "data-mining" power to snoop on every public and private act of every American.

Even the hastily passed U.S.A. Patriot Act, which widened the scope of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act and weakened 15 privacy laws, raised requirements for the government to report secret eavesdropping to Congress and the courts. But Poindexter's assault on individual privacy rides roughshod over such oversight.

He is determined to break down the wall between commercial snooping and secret government intrusion. The disgraced admiral dismisses such necessary differentiation as bureaucratic "stovepiping." And he has been given a $200 million budget to create computer dossiers on 300 million Americans.

When George W. Bush was running for president, he stood foursquare in defense of each person's medical, financial and communications privacy. But Poindexter, whose contempt for the restraints of oversight drew the Reagan administration into its most serious blunder, is still operating on the presumption that on such a sweeping theft of privacy rights, the buck ends with him and not with the president.

This time, however, he has been seizing power in the open. In the past week John Markoff of The Times, followed by Robert O'Harrow of The Washington Post, have revealed the extent of Poindexter's operation, but editorialists have not grasped its undermining of the Freedom of Information Act.

Political awareness can overcome "Total Information Awareness," the combined force of commercial and government snooping. In a similar overreach, Attorney General Ashcroft tried his Terrorism Information and Prevention System (TIPS), but public outrage at the use of gossips and postal workers as snoops caused the House to shoot it down. The Senate should now do the same to this other exploitation of fear.

The Latin motto over Poindexter"s new Pentagon office reads "Scientia Est Potentia" — "knowledge is power." Exactly: the government's infinite knowledge about you is its power over you. "We're just as concerned as the next person with protecting privacy," this brilliant mind blandly assured The Post. A jury found he spoke falsely before

:: Johnny 4:11 PM [+] ::
...

Love Is the Drug.
Words and music by Bryan Ferry and Andy McKay

T'aint no big t'ing
To wait for the bell to ring
T'aint no big t'ing
The toll of the bell

Aggravated - spare for days
I troll downtown the red light place
Jump up bubble up - what's in store
Love is the drug and I need to score

Showing out, showing out, hit and run
Boy meets girl where the beat goes on
Stitched up tight, can't shake free
Love is the drug got a hook on me

Oh oh catch that buzz
Love is the drug I'm thinking of
Oh oh can't you see
Love is the drug for me

Late that night I park my car
Stake my place in the singles bar
Face to face, toe to toe
Heart to heart as we hit the floor

Lumber up limbo down
The locked embrace, the stumble round
I say go, she say yes
Dim the lights, you can guess the rest

Oh oh catch that buzz
Love is the drug I'm thinking of
Oh oh can't you see
Love is the drug got a hook in me
Oh oh catch that buzz
Love is the drug I'm thinking of

Oh oh can't you see
Love the drug for me

:: Johnny 4:42 PM [+] ::
...

Redneck Photos. Yer darn tootin' it's funny as all get out. Don't miss the redneck wedding announcement and by all means check out the redneck horseshoes. How come it is okay to make fun of rednecks?
:: Johnny 4:00 PM [+] ::
...

Outer Space. Book your flight now. No kidding.
:: Johnny 3:46 PM [+] ::
...

Don Martin. Gallery dedicated to the great Mad Magazine artist. He always had the best cartoon sound effects.
:: Johnny 3:40 PM [+] ::
...

The Rap Dictionary.
:: Johnny 3:31 PM [+] ::
...

Hah. The Headlines Are Now The Links!. I am a friggin' genius.
:: Johnny 3:26 PM [+] ::
...

Akiyoshi's Illusion Pages. "Caution: This page contains some works of "anomalous motion illusion", which might make sensitive observers dizzy or sick. Should you feel dizzy, you had better leave this page immediately." Fun.
:: Johnny 3:20 PM [+] ::
...

"Team Rodent: How Disney Devours the World". Cool, funny book about those evil Disney dudes. Hiaasen is a great writer. http://www.bookreporter.com/reviews/0345422805.asp
:: Johnny 2:59 PM [+] ::
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The BBC's 50 Places To See Before You Die. I've only been to three..and one of those I happen to live in. How sad. How about you? http://www.bbc.co.uk/50/
:: Johnny 2:48 PM [+] ::
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The War on Terror. It continues apace... http://abc.net.au/news/newsitems/s725506.htm/
:: Johnny 2:11 PM [+] ::
...

More Big Brother. The Information Awareness Office. It's headed by that Iran-Contra guy Poindexter. Check out the eye-in-the-pyramid logo. http://www.conspiracyarchive.com/NWO/Paranoid.htm
:: Johnny 5:31 PM [+] ::
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The Assassins. http://65.107.211.206/cpace/theory/alamut/hassan.html
:: Johnny 4:24 PM [+] ::
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Text Messaging Causes Divorce. ..or so say some wags in India. A cell phone was burnt in protest... http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2002/11/11/1036308623342.html
:: Johnny 1:15 PM [+] ::
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Eminem. Why women adore him. read about the "snarling sourpuss" and his lady fans here: http://www.nypost.com/entertainment/61909.htm
:: Johnny 10:57 AM [+] ::
...

Bush Binocs. I think Dan Quayle tried this with a bazooka once. (thanx AKO) http://myjokemail.com/BushBinoculars.jpg
:: Johnny 10:33 AM [+] ::
...

Dali Disembarks. "In 1940, Salvador Dali was on a steamship bound for New York City. Already well known as the leader of the Surrealist art movement, Dali planned for days his grand entrance to the New World. This would be his new home, and his entrance would be a birth pain to waken big, busy New York City. Dali talked the ship's chef into baking a six-foot long loaf of bread that he would carry ashore instead of luggage. As the ship docked, photographers were ready to capture the art-celebrity's arrival. The photographers took pictures, but to Dali's despair, no reporter bothered to ask about the tremendous loaf. Dali could not understand why the reporters failed to acknowledge his symbol of the bizarre. Were New Yorkers more surreal than even Dali?" Walsh sez, Yes! (From SYMBOL LOGIC by Michael Thibodeau at http://www.designindabamag.com/artical0103-symbol.html )
:: Johnny 10:33 PM [+] ::
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Karaoke. I didn't go Friday night. I missed my weekly trance session. Man, that singing makes me real far gone...
:: Johnny 10:19 PM [+] ::
...

"Your Poems Set to Music. Make Big Money." A rip-off fer shur, and here is a fun little site about those little ads in back of magazines. Archive of actual songs. Dan's Paper's co-worker Elda (formerly of NYC's The Stillettoes) used to sing these things for an extra buck now and then. From the site: "When the song-poet responds by sending her (for most song-poets are female) verse in for "evaluation," the shark mails back a barrage of promotional literature in which he (for most song sharks are male) lays out a more sophisticated round of deceptions than can be squeezed into the ads. The verse, no matter how hopeless, is invariably given a top rating, thus inflating the song-poet's ego and expectations." http://www.aspma.com/
:: Johnny 10:15 PM [+] ::
...

Cultural Survival. Helps indigenous peoples and ethnic groups deal as equals in their relations with national and international societies. http://www.cs.org/newpage/index.cfm

:: Johnny 10:07 PM [+] ::
...

Consult the Oracle. The I Ching, that is, at the Empower Station. Philip K. Dick used the I Ching to plot the characters moves in his Hugo Award-winning novel "The Man in the High Castle." http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/empowertools/iching.htm
:: Johnny 10:01 PM [+] ::
...

"In the Realm of Spirits: Traditional Dayak Tattoo of Borneo." Nice article about the indigenous people of Borneo. Old photos too. "According to the beliefs of the Iban, one of the souls of a person resides in their head and by taking someone else's you capture their soul as well as their status, strength, skill and power. Thus, it is not surprising that human heads, once taken and preserved, were respected in ritual; their spirits became adopted members of the group that took them and were persuaded to aid their captors in many ways."
http://www.vanishingtattoo.com/borneo_tattoos_1.htm
:: Johnny 9:58 PM [+] ::
...

Cellphone Symphony. On WFMU 91.1 Join Kenny G this coming Wednesday evening, November 13, from 8-11 as he welcomes his guest composer and artist Golan Levin. Levin will be presenting and discussing his "Dialtones Telesymphony," a concert performance whose sounds are wholly produced through the choreographed ringing of the audience's own mobile phones. That's this coming Wednesday evening, November 13, from 8-11 PM. http://www.wfmu.org
:: Johnny 9:57 PM [+] ::
...

Lincoln vs. Kennedy. That whole Lincoln/Kennedy coincidence thing is debunked here http://www.snopes.com/history/american/linckenn.htm
:: Johnny 9:55 PM [+] ::
...

Rally Monkey Movie. What did I tell you the other day? I'm a regular Criswell, I am. http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news/ap/20021105/ap-angels-rallymonkey.html
:: Johnny 9:22 AM [+] ::
...

Get Your Bonfire On. It's Guy Fawkes Night in the U.K. . Celebrate Guy Fawkes' foiled attempt to blow up Parliament. http://www.novareinna.com/festive/guy.html However, check out these namby-pambies: http://reuters.com/news_article.jhtml?type=humannews&StoryID=1674742
:: Johnny 11:58 AM [+] ::
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Puppets. They are scary, no? http://www.puppetterror.com/site/stories1.html
:: Johnny 11:32 PM [+] ::
...

Muslims Get Answers. Jeez, wow long and what shape should my beard be? For Christ's sake, how do I stop those European-style toilets from contaminating me? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, can I pray while I'm on the rag? Here's an actual question:
Ques: My question is that what shari'ah says about "dance"? Is it prohibited or not? Is there any evidence in Sunnah or Hadith. If allowed, give me the terms and condition in which it is allowed.
Ans: Dance is an absurd and ludicrous act which is responsible for spreading obscenity and immodesty in the society which is unlawful and Haram in Shari'ah. The Shari'ah had not allowed it at any moment. Mostly this act is done by unmarried boys and girls, this shows how evil it is. Therefore, Dance and similar sort of Haram acts are forbidden. To refrain from these is wajib.
(ref: At-Tanweer Wa Sharah, page 395 vol.6 )
Find out the truth here: http://www.binoria.org/q&a/restricted.html
:: Johnny 11:25 PM [+] ::
...

Space Ship Time Machine. You get to put a message to the future, to our descendents, on a space ship that will return to Earth in 50,000 years. Only a couple weks left. Go, do it now. My message? "Boy, are you lucky you don't live in 2002." http://www.keo.org/
:: Johnny 11:19 PM [+] ::
...

Thuggee. Today is Diwali in India. It is a festival of light. In Bengal, it is dedicated to the goddess Kali. I wonder if there are still any Thugs around? http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thuggee
:: Johnny 3:58 PM [+] ::
...

"Crazy Date." Crazy rockabilly lyrics for you. From The Crazy Teens. From that crazy year of 1959. And, you know what? The lyrics don't sound crazy at all, but I heard the song a couple of years ago on The Hound's radio show on WFMU and it rocks. Thanks Crazy Teens. Now I gotta find a recording.
CRAZY DATE
(Unlisted)
THE CRAZY TEENS (SCOTT SF-19, 1959)
I called my baby 'bout a quarter of eight
I asked my baby if she wanted a date
I said I'd meet her a the corner at nine
She gave a sigh, she said now that's just fine

I asked my baby what she wanted to do
She gave a sigh, she said now that's up to you
Well, the icecream parlor or the picture show
She gave a sigh, she said now that's too slow

Well, how's about the Friday nigt hop
That would be fine, if I knew how to bop
Listen here baby, don't get in such a stew
It's Friday night, there should be plenty to do
Man, that was a crazy date...
(via http://rocker99.rockabilly.nl/lyrics1/c0091.htm )
:: Johnny 12:44 PM [+] ::
...